Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

#6837157
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11473) - you deserved it (25881)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Stella (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

#6836721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (8230)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23514) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (2622)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8175) - you deserved it (37214)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2005)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29718) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

#6826579
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8931) - you deserved it (41325)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33297) - you deserved it (3360)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (6288)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (4467)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)



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