Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16157) - you deserved it (12426)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (8219)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12440) - you deserved it (35305)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (2033)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss caught me playing games on the computer for 4 hours. My boss told me to feel free and continue, but to pack my stuff up and leave when I was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3834) - you deserved it (47926)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:46am - work - by poisonhand (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18477) - you deserved it (1751)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (2314)
On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7360) - you deserved it (18906)
On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5751) - you deserved it (13554)
On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6785) - you deserved it (33752)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13269) - you deserved it (9875)
On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18280) - you deserved it (4346)
On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14659) - you deserved it (27304)
On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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