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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

#7516892
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10219) - you deserved it (34889)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:27am - love - by SINGLE (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

#7516838
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7935) - you deserved it (29913)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

#7516271
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (7561)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

#7515979
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8670) - you deserved it (24273)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (3912)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

#7514878
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:40am - love - by Phoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13663) - you deserved it (40114)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (2148)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

#7512878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (6500)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:04am - love - by voltronn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8930) - you deserved it (37365)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14357) - you deserved it (24474)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

#7505237
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (5122)

On 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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