Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (528191) - you deserved it (37926)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (1780)
On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (2138)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (37097)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (3127)
On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4659) - you deserved it (22434)
On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (1440)
On 02/05/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by CB4 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54384) - you deserved it (1988)
On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (5653)
On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6383) - you deserved it (32192)
On 02/05/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Kevin (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name "Mom" is right next to "Mike" in my contacts list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10492) - you deserved it (37700)
On 02/05/2009 at 10:39am - intimacy - by menerethrr - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered a drawer in my house of chocolates, cookies, and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (5820)
On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (2062)
On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
↑ maiden_girl's comment : Maybe he dated a girl also named Brittany? Haha.
See all the comments →