Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18152) - you deserved it (35542)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (4785)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by fml_for_real - United States (New York)
Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19574) - you deserved it (3234)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (1624)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11788) - you deserved it (23527)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (1743)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177279) - you deserved it (7211)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6054) - you deserved it (21689)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (5473)
On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20880) - you deserved it (2133)
On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28087) - you deserved it (1413)
On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (3780)
On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15929) - you deserved it (26176)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
↑ badonis's comment : WTF?
See all the comments →