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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8197) - you deserved it (85915)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6436) - you deserved it (89942)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (9290)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

#6953630
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (8577)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by OhGodKillMeNow (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

#6952779
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (2602)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:10am - misc - by mothapuka (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (4379)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

#6950494
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (2744)

On 12/26/2009 at 1:10am - love - by Foam (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have an Urinary Tract Infection, causing me to have to use the bathroom about every ten minutes. I'm also about to leave on a 15 hour car trip with my entire family. FML

#6949981
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (2300)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (8561)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

#6946045
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25912) - you deserved it (2367)

On 12/25/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)



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