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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (12784)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (3809)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML

#12566093
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35025) - you deserved it (18981)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by sarskii (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML

#12563686
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31956) - you deserved it (8200)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by IceCreamCraver (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54044) - you deserved it (6514)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a job interview. The person giving me my interview was late, and while waiting for them I fell asleep. When they arrived, they didn't even bother interviewing me because they thought I was irresponsible since I fell asleep because they were late. FML

#12552420
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16581) - you deserved it (47868)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:17am - work - by nocanhaz - United States (New York)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48509) - you deserved it (4853)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

xX_LilSammie_Xx's comment : that's hot.

See all the comments →

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (5367)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

#12549238
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (6061)

On 08/15/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by Tingly (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

#12547774
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32092) - you deserved it (15645)

On 08/15/2010 at 10:15pm - love - by crystalpistol (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

#12547151
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (3717)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm - intimacy - by Anthony - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (40672)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)



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