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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

#8199501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (5966)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by bcca - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

#8198734
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (3501)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by lolographic24 - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

#8195721
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:49am - love - by girlie5445 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML

#8195663
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

#8193962
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (4797)

On 02/13/2010 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (7201)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (2743)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (6972)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (38003)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Narcentricity's comment : why?

See all the comments →

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (3235)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

#8177563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (1550)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML

#8176848
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (1821)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)



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