Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37631) - you deserved it (10603)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML

#12606847
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26881) - you deserved it (14052)

On 08/18/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

#12604677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33663) - you deserved it (7278)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by Funless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11775) - you deserved it (61765)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

BluPenguin's comment : YOU DESERVE IT FOR THROWING SHIT OUT OF THE WINDOW WHILE DRIVING!!!

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Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (12613)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52087) - you deserved it (14628)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28465) - you deserved it (2902)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (17317)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

#12592660
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (4072)

On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (3537)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (12784)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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