Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (10462)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (39986)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134546) - you deserved it (37252)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (3627)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (4392)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by rainyday (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8725) - you deserved it (23749)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (95928)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (24511)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)
Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (3310)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by ServingYouWings (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64513) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (4757)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27214) - you deserved it (2443)
On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (2813)
On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by iwantpizza69 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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