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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37656) - you deserved it (4904)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15550) - you deserved it (27097)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

#12725803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (8185)

On 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm - love - by DyingOfShame (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12801) - you deserved it (34354)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33819) - you deserved it (5123)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML

Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because I need to "watch my weight." FML

#12716551
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38111) - you deserved it (6121)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by jace17 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

#12716438
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34210) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldnt have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriends excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He isn't laughing. FML

#12715880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34704) - you deserved it (4109)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:30am - love - by XxDiabolikalXx - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

#12715856
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (6959)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML

#12715799
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (8934)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:25am - misc - by lostvideo - Israel (Yerushalayim)

Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML

#12715752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (4057)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by bestbirthdayever - United States (California)

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

#12714961
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (10754)

On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)



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