Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 26 July 2012 10:42 / Australia
By Jarman - / Thursday 26 July 2012 05:39 / United States - Columbus
By Lilragu97 / Thursday 26 July 2012 05:14 / United States - Exeter

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

By Just Me - / Thursday 26 July 2012 05:04 / United States - Brooklyn
FML - The follow-up
Infiltrator4444 Say more :
I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."
By Infiltrator4444 / Thursday 26 July 2012 01:11 / United States - Lexington
By justlittleoldme / Wednesday 25 July 2012 21:05 / United States - Sarona

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

By madmomma / Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:46 / United States - Veneta
FML - The follow-up

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Itstrickyyxx Say more :
OP here again. Wow i haven't been on this site in forever. I can't even see him every month now, I see him every few months, and of course, ALWAYS ON MY PERIOD. That's life I suppose. And no I can't do birth control to EVERYONE who said it, all kinds effected me badly! :)
By Itstrickyyxx - / Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:08 / United States - Erie

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

By Unlucky - / Wednesday 25 July 2012 13:03 / United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 25 July 2012 10:54 / United States - Murrieta
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