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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

#8714094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (6069)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:26am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

#8713665
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

#8713429
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9075) - you deserved it (27451)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:16am - money - by komp6390 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

#8713394
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (2755)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (2408)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (2953)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

#8711589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7934) - you deserved it (25265)

On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

#8708585
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (6583)

On 02/28/2010 at 1:31am - health - by annonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10195) - you deserved it (31060)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

#8706318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (26569)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (2655)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (6895)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)



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