By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 147 239
You deserved it 17 284

Litterbox tells us more.

Litterbox 0

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Juli_fml 0

anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?

147 4

Comments

michanelle 0

wow... 1st... make sure she will never find out if you really do get pregnant o.o

1 1
Bloodberry 0

I believe she deserves this because if the mother was to tell her this it's because OP has done something for the mother to not fully trust OP.

2 3
loverBall 0

wow i know how you feel/:

0 0
xtfauthorx 0

ehh if it was MY mom she'd cut the baby out of my stomach murder me in the gruesomest way possible....then raise the baby to be just like her

7 1
MearaRocks 0

#258, you do know babies usually grow in your uterus, not you stomach, right?

3 2
Juli_fml 0

anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?

147 4
uberrcool 0

yeah there really should. Parents are (unfortuantly) a large part of most people's lives.

31 0
belgianwaffozz 0

Your mother is hilarious.

0 1
jazziue 0

what about when ur married would she still do it then

2 4
onigiriqueen 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
15 85
Fontario4 2

Hey dumbass if we used your logic almost everyone would be dead. Nobody knows what the future will hold and unless they're rich they can't be sure you'll always be able to fully support them on your own. Nobody deaserves to ****** die, control yourself.

53 5
bwhahaha_fml 10

that form of neglect is illigal in some countries

7 2
vickiejiang1990 0

241 is right... currency didnt exist during the cavemen age... follow your logic we all wouldn't be here today... some under age preggos can truly be annoying but they don't deserve to die...

17 2
d101_fml 0

People who post "first" clearly have issues about not being "first" in real life...ever

0 0
elara15 0

I hear you, #7. And I'm sick of the people who preach against abortion limiting the access to birth control. Accidents may happen, but that's no excuse for not adequately protecting yourself. If your mother is going to make such threats, I hope she's willing, at a future date, to help you get some form of hormonal birth control and buy a pack of condoms with spermicide.

27 10
tisana18 1

There's really no good reason for abortion in a semi-normal pregnancy. Unless the chance of death to the baby or mother in birth is reasonably high, adoption is generally a more ethical option.

26 5