Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (11132)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

#8005282
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (30784)

On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

#8003264
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (76296)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version

mj2123's comment : You're an idiot.

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (8493)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML

#7998625
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:41am - love - by mmvv - United States

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

#7997693
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (6980)

On 02/08/2010 at 12:21am - love - by cupcakemonsteryu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (3507)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (5242)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

#7984912
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5926) - you deserved it (28544)

On 02/07/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by 16seconds - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML



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