by Imrickar / 04/30/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Love
marmlr339's comment : She probably thought it'd turn you on!
by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health
by me / 04/30/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Health
by thanksmom / 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (California) / Health
tief06's comment : that bitch.
Today, I ran into an old friend from college on the bus to work. Having not seen each other in over 10 years, we spent a good 15 minutes talking about our lives after college. At the end, he asked me what my name was. FML
by Jaggu / 04/29/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek
teameminem's comment : you know you have no life when...
Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML
by Wtf / 04/29/2011 at 12:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Jims / 04/29/2011 at 10:00am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 8:53am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Love
by Kebabjoon / 04/29/2011 at 7:36am / Spain / Work
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…