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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I just got a new assignment for the moving company I work for. Two weeks ago my fiancé dumped me and I moved out of the house. Almost all of the furniture was mine and it took forever. The new moving assignment I have is moving her new boyfriend into my old house. FML

#4002838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (2160)

On 07/24/2009 at 10:56am - love - by dantheman (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39567) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

#4000566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38861) - you deserved it (4043)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML

#4000327
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (6093)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Haryana)

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

#4000083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55775) - you deserved it (3940)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66608) - you deserved it (6614)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

#3998024
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (12124)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

#3997843
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (18268)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

#3996301
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (56375)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:23am - love - by SexyPlayer9 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML

#3995959
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47123) - you deserved it (2597)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Lyingboyfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way its supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells "turn the gas off". FML

#3995707
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12980) - you deserved it (43918)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by haytia22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. As everything was ending, I tried to save the relationship by telling her how much I cared about her. Her response? "Please stop. You're gonna make me feel bad." FML

#3994466
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (7389)

On 07/24/2009 at 12:18am - love - by masterofblues (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53114) - you deserved it (24658)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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