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Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

#13081151
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (9156)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by happy bday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

#13078178
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46657) - you deserved it (6012)

On 09/16/2010 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Laura - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

#13077269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (11025)

On 09/16/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (13124)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34211) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

#13073501
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm - love - by whatabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

#13072362
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (4046)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:17am - health - by gretel (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (4201)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (3187)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia



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