Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19592) - you deserved it (2012)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

#8082566
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (4042)

On 02/10/2010 at 6:47am - love - by kstaa - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (4079)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

#8080103
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (7784)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

#8079585
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:29am - love - by LoveStruck- - United States

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML

#8078249
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5107) - you deserved it (53783)

On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

#8074881
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (4483)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:11am - love - by black_commet08 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (5396)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (7338)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

#8069688
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32084) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

#8067706
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (2572)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by spanishgirl101 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

#8067680
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9284) - you deserved it (37615)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - love - by caughttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML

#8063037
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7979) - you deserved it (22960)

On 02/09/2010 at 8:16pm - health - by conchita (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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