Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

by Average / 02/13/2011 at 2:16am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

by jobless / 02/13/2011 at 12:31am / United States (North Dakota) / Work

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

by FlatTire / 02/13/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

by cs / 02/12/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

by Username / 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

by Hailey / 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

by grrrr / 02/12/2011 at 2:00pm / United States / Love

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

by sadcartoons / 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

ErbodyLuvsDaLulz's comment : YDI for having two girlfriends.

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Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

by KaraAnn17 / 02/12/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

by AMIGODO / 02/12/2011 at 10:13am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

by notsolucky / 02/12/2011 at 10:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Work