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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (6142)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (31762)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (3226)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

#6030551
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by hey-ooo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

#6029729
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (28894)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Kailey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML

#6029575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by ilovemybrother (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (2354)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

#6027287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6961) - you deserved it (38789)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (5906)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my tax return. I was really excited. Turns out the government does take the time to send out a tax return for $1.36. FML

#6025394
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (3551)

On 10/27/2009 at 4:10pm - money - by nicolo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6024374
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18056) - you deserved it (4121)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)



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