Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

#13033071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (8107)

On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)

Today, I procrastinated on doing my on-line training for my new job. Thinking it would only take a few hours to complete, I started it in the early evening. It is now almost 4 am, and I start my new job in 3 hours. There is still about another hour and a half on on-line training left. FML

#13032045
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (50629)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41163) - you deserved it (13100)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

#13030264
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (4631)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41677) - you deserved it (6042)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (30249)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

#13024683
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (40636)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

#13019644
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (9973)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

#13019582
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2332)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:52pm - work - by yeahno (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best friend to find me a date. Somehow, she managed to go home with a guy and I'm still decidedly single. FML

#13018300
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (6314)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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