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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29618) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

#8329398
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:26am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (29800)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

#8324866
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6093) - you deserved it (30920)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5677) - you deserved it (60411)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (5942)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

#8314834
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (2393)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (1561)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (2801)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41122) - you deserved it (3612)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19534) - you deserved it (6860)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (3858)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

#8299484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (2726)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by thirdwheel (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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