Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

by iheartnjdevils / 01/12/2011 at 2:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 1:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 10:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:29am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

by will3000 / 01/12/2011 at 8:28am / Work

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:14am / United Kingdom / Money

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

by lovefool / 01/12/2011 at 5:58am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Love

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 3:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

by mad dude / 01/12/2011 at 2:46am / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, at the job I've had for eight years, I finally got the raise I was supposed to get a year ago. One hour later I found out the store was closing and we were all out of a job in two weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 12:09am / United States / Work

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Work