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Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

#8287074
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9359) - you deserved it (28269)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

#8286568
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Abandoned (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20677) - you deserved it (2864)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

#8283424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (5905)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:14am - love - by shininghayley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

#8279191
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (13417)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by tayluh26 - United States (California)

IndigoKitty's comment : YDI. pay for your own damn wedding!

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Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

#8271296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (5127)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (3581)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (2271)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (4890)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31770) - you deserved it (7110)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

muahzzbaybee's comment : break up with him

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Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML

#8250617
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (2878)

On 02/14/2010 at 2:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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