Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37467) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (6894)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (6295)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10609) - you deserved it (30180)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

#8693763
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (6960)

On 02/27/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by atmac95 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

#8692922
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2166)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm - work - by mcfaily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (6836)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

#8690586
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/27/2010 at 2:03pm - health - by hairplease (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

#8687121
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

#8686937
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/27/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by msmusiclover7 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremly selfish person, and that I do not love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a backrub in 2 weeks, sleep too much and have a hormonal problem. Once again, I AM PREGNANT! FML

#8684700
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34157) - you deserved it (5560)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:17am - health - by ksztte (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: