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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

#13052349
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (5305)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my girlfriend of 3 years out to where we had our first date. I proposed to her. She breaks down in tears as she tells me she's been sleeping with her co-worker for the past year. FML

#13052175
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55228) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

#13050784
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (9247)

On 09/14/2010 at 5:46pm - misc - by miss Suzanne - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8908) - you deserved it (47295)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (8028)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML

#13046005
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (2599)

On 09/14/2010 at 6:44am - misc - by Lolzords - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (3241)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (6688)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (9997)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24090) - you deserved it (4460)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (6163)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)



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