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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (5011)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

#13610871
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7212) - you deserved it (40547)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

#13610452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (7617)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:24am - health - by ew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the new Walmart to buy a space heater. After dodging cones in the parking lot, and trying to open several doors while employees looked on, I checked the sign, which said "24 hours." I then realized is stated that the grand opening is tomorrow. I'm now sitting in my apartment shivering. FML

#13608595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (24944)

On 10/26/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Bellucy27 - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

#13608435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (3943)

On 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by zzzgrady - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (7012)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (4341)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (7492)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38726) - you deserved it (4467)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

#13600670
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (3713)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found that windshield wipers on my car had been stolen. I bought a pair of new ones for around $10 but when I was trying to put them in place, I failed to hold a wiper holder and it slipped down on the windshield, causing cracks. Now I have to replace the windshield which will cost approximately $150. FML



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