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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

#7278086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8165) - you deserved it (27578)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (9953)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

#7277653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (25893)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36360) - you deserved it (5253)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31105) - you deserved it (9795)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

AnneOminous's comment : And today you need to learn how to discipline your child.

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

#7273093
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9329) - you deserved it (50531)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:23am - health - by alexbobalex (woman) - Aland Islands

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32304) - you deserved it (3925)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML

#7270960
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (2716)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:19am - health - by Gentleman (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (4058)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML

#7268180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5213) - you deserved it (20945)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Drewzter (man) - United States (California)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments


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