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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45467) - you deserved it (3167)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12330) - you deserved it (42757)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

#4609790
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44095) - you deserved it (1932)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

#4608899
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (21208)

On 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by BearGrillz - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32160) - you deserved it (18795)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66125) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (20799)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44144) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

#4603777
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (15650)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

#4603530
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50065) - you deserved it (5218)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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