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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (5370)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (2492)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family sat me down and told me I was spending way too much time with my boyfriend and not enough time with them. My boyfriend has been away in Iraq for six months and just came home a week ago. FML

#6406317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40203) - you deserved it (2156)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:03pm - love - by gj09 - United States

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (16998)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML

#6403775
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (2398)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:49am - health - by trying2breathe (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

#6403187
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (4064)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Cerezo (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

#6402525
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34651) - you deserved it (5611)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by mjperfetti84 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (32269)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (3798)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML

#6400786
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (5094)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by jayne_dhoe (woman) - United Kingdom



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