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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14914) - you deserved it (39080)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33360) - you deserved it (6359)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19546) - you deserved it (30758)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

#13586647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (32197)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

#13585816
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (6844)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

#13584749
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (5069)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by not_relaxed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

#13582834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (7446)

On 10/24/2010 at 10:16pm - money - by krissysays (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (5783)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (3305)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

#13580175
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (24684)

On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

#13577689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (35947)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

#13576310
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29601) - you deserved it (4336)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:11pm - love - by Moeswifey - United States



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