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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was supposed to talk to my girlfriend's mom to ask permission to date her daughter but I chickened out. We've been together for almost a year, but have not been on a real date because I am too damn scared of her family. FML

#8913654
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (41016)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:33am - love - by imafrickenidiot - Sent from mobile version

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (3792)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

#8910631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18774) - you deserved it (5849)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (2368)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

#8909849
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35680) - you deserved it (3219)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

#8905388
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by leenibeani4 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9890) - you deserved it (35489)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (2158)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (5325)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

#8899793
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (2589)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by space_cadet90818 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML

#8893586
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (2359)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:20pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

#8893190
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28887) - you deserved it (4411)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm - misc - by SadFace (man) - United States (Michigan)



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