by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
sourkrout94's comment : hahah way to go..
Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML
by Live02Dance / 06/25/2011 at 8:58am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by suxx / 06/25/2011 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
mojojojo91's comment : Did it feel so good?
by thatguy / 06/25/2011 at 3:47am / Canada / Miscellaneous
bennetts211's comment : I'd stay at your friend's, if I were you.
by cek4uytp / 06/25/2011 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML
by PandaMantis / 06/25/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by yearbook369 / 06/25/2011 at 12:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by yourmomsabitch / 06/25/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML
by John / 06/24/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
by pinocchio / 06/24/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Love
by Username / 06/24/2011 at 6:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids