Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, mah husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after bieng constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32284) - you deserved it (4115)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

2day I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good . I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me . Then he added, ( What's funny is it looks nothing lyk you! ) mega FML

#7215192
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (3323)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up looool an felt that my arm was sore!! I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis!!

#7213754
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8823) - you deserved it (44773)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Was Watching Star Wars : Attack Of The Clones, An Yoda Was Using The Force To Move A Heavy Object. While In The Middle Of Mah Loungeroom, I Instinctively Put Mah Hand Up To Use The Force To Help Him, Infront Of Mah Father An Sister. My Sister Will Never Let Me Live It Down. FML

#7212401
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (36273)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday I was babysitting a new child . I guess she heard me tell her parent about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry spread it all over the stair leading to where her fort was and walkd around with a baseball bat coverd in it so I couldn't come near her . real FML

#7212033
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34687) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today , I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entre time we were sparring. big fat FML

#7211389
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by snickerdoodles - Sent from mobile version

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friend swear in previou comment and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, ( Hey, watch out yr language! ) I'm nineteen. FML

#7211285
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21629) - you deserved it (5569)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by iamshrimpy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Taday my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today mah boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store r ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8551) - you deserved it (27117)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, an sent her a text saying ( Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways. ) She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

#7209759
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (22202)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that I have fallen 4 the most amazing grl. She's good looking, has a great personality, she's funny and is a hit with all my friends but she doesn't seem to realise she has a body odor problem. FML

#7207594
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (5699)

On 01/07/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by DDubs (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after aving sexual intercourse wit my boyfriend, we went downstairs to fine is parents ad come ome early and ad eard everyting. I ten received a long scolding from is moter of ow I'd disrespected er ouse. My boyfriend received a ig-five and a tumbs-up from is dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I was on a long-haul plane journey home from mah holiday. After 5 hours , I decidd to stretch mah armshilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching , running down the aisle as mah arm stretchd out. I accidentally clothes-lind a looool little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (3608)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom



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