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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass." FML

#5989857
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15778) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:56am - intimacy - by pandroida (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

#5989748
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (4937)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

#5989698
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (37269)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I kept restarting my internet, wondering why I wasn't receiving any messages from my friends. Then I realized they were all ignoring me. FML

#5989620
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (7990)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by Happyforeverx (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

#5988986
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (4231)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by HoShiz (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML

#5987696
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11293) - you deserved it (24714)

On 10/25/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by ZThirteen (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (4495)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (6361)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15254) - you deserved it (25615)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (2095)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

#5981900
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (9477)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9120) - you deserved it (30770)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)



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