Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took...

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 474

You deserved it 5 229

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 002

You deserved it 3 495

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 600

You deserved it 88 938

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 931

You deserved it 256

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 690

You deserved it 38 983

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 635

You deserved it 13 124

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 243

You deserved it 365

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 422

You deserved it 13 435

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 294

You deserved it 5 011

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 333

You deserved it 7 438

CyclonePsycho 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:37

At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D

lukewarmocha 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:33

naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.

Comments

well_this_sucks 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:32

awhh that suckss! ~first(:~

springbirder 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:58

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inmyroom 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:26

this'll make a good story later on.

ChrisWasHere 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:59

Wow. You're gay, number 2. Oh and for the OP.. you're an idiot. This FML sounds so FIMILIAR to a recent post. VERY SIMILAR.

ImAKlutz15 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:06

thats what i thought

springbirder 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:08

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jenkins56 5

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:12

Wow #27. It bugs me way too much that you spelt 'Obama', 'Obaobama' once here.

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:33

Agreed.

lil_miz_liz09 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:15

wow #67..it bugs me how you read every "OBAMA" in that comment.

cucumberfabulous 7

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:51

I didn't read every Obama, I still noticed it =P

ithedarkknight 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:53

LOL CHANGE HAS COME TO AMERICA! whether you like it or not all you people hatin on my president it doesnt matter guess what he will always be known as the president of the UNITED STATES and you always will be known as... OOPS i forgot your a nobody stfu and stop hatin OBAMA ALL THE WAY!!!!!!! um six months later and you still cant suck it up WE WON BABY WE WON ALL DAY!!!! OBAMA!

moose91894 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 5:11

change?

oogyboogy 6

Thursday 2 July 2009 5:35

It's not that you an it's that it's destroying our country taxing to death is destroying america and destroying our nuclear weapons face it he's killing us all

Always4tehlolz 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 5:37

gimmick election is gimmick

easylazy 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 6:16

Just tell everyone that you got bit by a vampire All your girlfriends are probably obsessed with Twilight anyway

Bizzile 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 7:27

that suuuucks !

lifeislife_fml 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 7:33

Haha #67, I had to look for the "Obaobama". That was a pretty funny copy+paste incident.

Dante167 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 7:46

#114 I doubt you have any clue what you're talking about, you cant even make a sentence that doesnt sound like an 8 year old typed it.

americayay 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 7:52

i don't know that they hate obama, just you because you type obama multiple times all over this site because you're pathetic and it's really annoying.

jessamyn_it_is 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 10:27

Haha yeah, that's kind of what I was about to say :)

divineinstrument 2

Thursday 2 July 2009 19:47

To number #58: Yeah that's exactly what I was thinking!!! Yeah, I thought it was the same FML for a second, but the first one was about another guy trying to stop a drunk girl from driving home and she ran him over. Looks like no good comes from trying to stop people from drink-driving lol To OP: Well, you tried to do a good deed, and it didn't work out. You can't blame yourself if someone else wants to drink-drive. It's an incredibly stupid thing to do, but people do it, and I really hope that anyone who drink-drives gets caught and severly punished (the police fine is the tip of the iceberg- anyone caught drink-driving is likely to get fired). Sorry, OP, nice try though.

srammer99 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:40

because of Obama there won't be another black president for a long time

zach055 23

Saturday 20 March 2010 17:52

That's what you get for messing with a drink girl.

potterwatch 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 10:26

someone jumped on the bandwagon... I hate when people talk about politics like it's a football game. and I especially hate it when all the obama crazy high school students say "change" to everything even though they have no idea what they are talking about. I mean I voted for Obama but it wasn't because he was young or black or bc I'm an optimist and I believe in his entire message. sometimes you gotta pick the guy that sucks less.

19fml18 0

Monday 21 March 2011 20:13

it'll make one badass scar, though.

lukewarmocha 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:33

naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.

genius_girl16 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:49

I think this is the best thing that has ever happened to you ! congratulations! you are officially a part of the exclusive club known as bitten. It was originated in south georgia island and entitles you to free things such as free valet parking. no taxes and free coffees and shipping and handling fees! Some people are bitten just to enjoy these benefits. If you think im lying just google it. its on the 22 page.