Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

#5462375
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you deserved it (2858)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

#5461426
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35004) - you deserved it (10688)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

#5460740
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (6726)

On 09/25/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

#5460176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (21715)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going at a big concert in my university. I paid around a hundred-twenty bucks for my ticket. Outside the venue, people were handing out the tickets. For free. FML

#5457566
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (11922)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by akosirm (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (27432)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34587) - you deserved it (2997)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

#5453638
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (3657)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by frenchfrypotater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48032) - you deserved it (4184)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

#5450785
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (40261)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by BOOMerang (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

#5450492
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45205) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:24pm - money - by shouldagone2work (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: