Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15798) - you deserved it (23134)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11573) - you deserved it (38888)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

#10678608
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (5312)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:33pm - misc - by Jlipka - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (11425)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (3799)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

#10668547
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (7992)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (14332)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

#10666872
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (34728)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:01am - love - by finalssuck - United States (Oklahoma)

f_alltheirlives's comment : Bloody Mary!! Brandy Alexander? Are you asian? Mai Tai? Dr. Pepper? Tom Collins? Jolly Rancher? Jolly Roger? Tell me now!!! I'm all shaken!!! Not stirred...

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Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML

#10664484
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (21723)

On 05/21/2010 at 6:11am - misc - by CARnage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

#10661974
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (4043)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized my boyfriend only asks me to come spend the night when he needs me to wake him up in the morning. FML

#10661591
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (3641)

On 05/21/2010 at 12:40am - love - by humanalarmclock (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
548 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17023) - you deserved it (257958)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

take_it_ez's comment : bahaha dumbass cheaters!

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