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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16204) - you deserved it (26563)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

#13534312
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9995) - you deserved it (36580)

On 10/21/2010 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36887) - you deserved it (3144)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 6 months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

#13530612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (3036)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:04pm - love - by mook05 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML

#13525435
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (8429)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm - love - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (3335)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26552) - you deserved it (3758)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (4463)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (5682)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39435) - you deserved it (3357)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

#13521400
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29986) - you deserved it (12905)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46835) - you deserved it (10914)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)



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