Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (2541)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

#7437449
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (2635)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm - work - by PiMan (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (31449)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (6278)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

#7434371
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (2575)

On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

#7433916
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5762) - you deserved it (35613)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:51am - work - by Stilljobless (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

#7433438
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25297) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:59am - misc - by momof2boys - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (4278)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

#7431975
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (1949)

On 01/19/2010 at 1:44am - work - by StillHurt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (5819)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (5354)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28489) - you deserved it (4087)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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