Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML
by goatvideosarelame / 05/24/2011 at 3:31am / Singapore / Work
Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2011 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nr1234 / 05/24/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
PsychoXtheXrapis's comment : Hey, at least he doesn't have an orgasm every time he gets a bloody nose.
by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by rogerusmc23 / 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Work
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML
by Catherine / 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML
by M / 05/23/2011 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
allmidnighteyes's comment : "Today, I satisfied my woman. FML" REALLY?
Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 2:12pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous
ZTD09's comment : Ultimately, your rural demise is imminent.