Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health
PrickHead's comment : could of been worse... could of shit ur pants...
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML
by mj / 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm / United States / Love
by xXEndlesslullabyXx / 06/05/2011 at 2:15pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Loveless / 06/05/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
JesusFishTaco's comment : You should've bought a hippo. They're too lazy to run away.
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
by yup / 06/05/2011 at 3:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
JesusFishTaco's comment : His mom knows what's up.
by kyle / 06/05/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by dumped / 06/05/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Love
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by wooowmom / 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
by Burned / 06/04/2011 at 8:54pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…