Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you deserved it (33006)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

#13612177
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (7748)

On 10/27/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by Sean - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (14377)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

#13611017
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (6188)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML

#13610970
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (5336)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:07am - health - by haleyfml - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (5010)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

#13610871
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7212) - you deserved it (40545)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

#13610452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (7617)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:24am - health - by ew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the new Walmart to buy a space heater. After dodging cones in the parking lot, and trying to open several doors while employees looked on, I checked the sign, which said "24 hours." I then realized is stated that the grand opening is tomorrow. I'm now sitting in my apartment shivering. FML

#13608595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (24943)

On 10/26/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Bellucy27 - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

#13608435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (3943)

On 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by zzzgrady - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22092) - you deserved it (7013)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: