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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

#8941097
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6784) - you deserved it (34121)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:14am - health - by oww - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (3964)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (2385)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

#8939744
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (21273)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (2543)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

#8938160
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (3816)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11763) - you deserved it (33901)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

#8930944
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22215) - you deserved it (4549)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:24pm - money - by yessssir - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

#8929272
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (4441)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by yayaimannoying (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

#8928407
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (28874)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by BNLM - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I'm "too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me." FML

#8927721
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (6132)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by dead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20313) - you deserved it (6112)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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