sydvicious1234

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About Sydvicious1234

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The list of badges to find

Sydvicious1234's favorite FMLs

Good job

By whatnow - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Carmel

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 951

You deserved it 34 736

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 246

You deserved it 3 445

Needs

By Kelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Roseville

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 561

You deserved it 3 449

Keep on going!

By Anonymous - 03/04/2012 02:07 - United States - Lincolnton

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 343

You deserved it 3 979

By potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 741

You deserved it 27 263

By Ralph - 04/04/2012 03:02 - United States - Candler

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 271

You deserved it 13 348

Mystery pooch

By Scarred - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Marquette

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 2 440

Salty

By heartsick - 04/04/2012 05:43 - United States - Davenport

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 690

You deserved it 3 052

Red tape

By Anonymous - 04/04/2012 07:51 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 2 342

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 12:36 - Netherlands

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 011

You deserved it 27 875

By kirsty - 08/04/2012 17:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 9 401

By Anonymous - 18/04/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 9 919

By Capteen - 22/04/2012 12:17 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 726

Capteen_fml tells us more.

Capteen_fml 9

Sunday 22 April 2012 17:21

OP here! I definitely have a new mattress, and the frames been well cleaned as it was in storage for a while. To the people saying get over it - I'm not upset or creeped out too much, I just thought it was FML worthy. And no, I have no intention of 'repeating the cycle' to my children as such - I need to finish my studies before even considering children!

By mmmtortilla - 24/04/2012 14:03 - Spain - Portugalete

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 386

You deserved it 28 578