NViiNkD

Mrs

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Bronx, USA
35 years-old
Thursday 30 May 1991
In a relationship

About Nviinkd

I panic more than Chucky
My luck is worst than Squidward's
It's Gud to know I'm not the only 1 following Murphy's Law

Nviinkd - Followers

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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100 kick-ass comments

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YDI Master

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The list of badges to find

Nviinkd's favorite FMLs

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 919

You deserved it 35 663

By ugly - 07/04/2009 23:34 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 97

By Crazy09 - 08/04/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me, "Don't worry, it's not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 429

You deserved it 6 576

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 15:26 - Australia

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 889

You deserved it 8 165

Strong bonds

By Anonymous - 02/05/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter asked, "What would happen to me if you and daddy died?" I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said, "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 515

You deserved it 10 030

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 172

You deserved it 3 195

Ready to rumble

By rawkdinosawr - 09/05/2009 15:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend, in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted, "My girlfriend is so stupid, she can't even text the right number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 062

You deserved it 77 117

By lulabell - 19/05/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my Frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 259

You deserved it 43 975

By becstar90 - 05/06/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, I was taking a picture with my friend. Her camera can pick out a certain color and only have that color show up in the picture. She chose yellow because of the yellow on my dress. When she showed me the picture, the sash wasn't the only yellow thing; my teeth showed up, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 598

You deserved it 18 331

By MisterSeth - 17/06/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 976

You deserved it 79 821

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 526

You deserved it 11 028

Brain worms

By slightlyslow - 02/07/2009 20:33 - United States

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year-old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 607

You deserved it 52 909

First and last

By hannaholic - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 5 006

By Inod - 07/07/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I finally got a Wii Fit to try and lose some weight. I came home and set it all up, only to be told that I weigh too much to actually use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 90

Inod tells us more.

Inod 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 1:19

I'm the OP, decided to make an account... Reason I put on so much weight is cause I had a car run up my leg by a 16 year old bitch who was too busy chatting on her phone to even notice she hit me. So after my broken foot, ankle, and leg "healed", I got to go through the process of starting rehab on all the torn stuff in my ankle. 18 months later, I can walk again with only a slight limp. Yay! Believe me, I'd love to be able to go out for a walk or hit the gym but some days (rainy days especally) going from bed to the bathroom is a chore and any kind of incline or decline hurts still. And I didn't know I was over 330 when I got to the store (got a scale too, 334... what a bitch, huh?) so that was a huge shock. Obviously I know I was overweight, but not this bad. Thanks to like the 10 people with kind words... the rest of you enjoy your summer, high school starts back up in about 8 weeks.

By blackntangirl - 18/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 475

You deserved it 14 027