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The all-time greatest FMLs

Not now

By nexus - 25/09/2021 01:59 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 588

So frustratiiiiing

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 484

Such a Miranda

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 00:00

Today, I realised that when I was pregnant I had loads of friends, because pregnancy is cute and awesome and empowering, until the baby actually arrived. Then so-called friends don’t want to visit anymore because babies are loud, sticky, poop everywhere, and get in the way of brunch and shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 627

Can't let the big man upstairs wait

By Sirsriracha - 21/10/2021 14:01

Today, I posted bail for my mom from jail. She did a hit and run, and then resisted arrest. When I asked why she didn’t stay at the scene, she unapologetically said, “I was gonna be late to church.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 125

Noise annoys

By boom boom boom - 06/06/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my neighbor got a ridiculous surround sound system that sounds like Jurassic fucking Park come to life. My walls are literally shaking. I tried asking nicely for them to turn it down. They told me to fuck off, and that if I call the cops with a noise complaint, well… they know where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 97

Anger management class is next door

By ComeOnMan - 21/12/2022 09:00

Today, before closing the library, someone came in to use the computer. He apparently forgot the password to his online banking, eventually getting so frustrated that he grabbed the monitor, yanked it from its cables, hurled it across the room, and stormed out. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 95

Classy

By Eww - 17/11/2021 20:02

Today, I decided to be nice and do the laundry for the whole family. Apparently, all the guys in the family have skid marks on both the back AND THE FRONT of their underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 152

Not now, please

By Anonymous - 02/12/2020 02:01 - Costa Rica - San José

Today, days before my graduation, I got sick with a virus, so I had constant vomit and incontinence. To receive my diploma, I had to wear a diaper and spend the whole graduation drinking electrolytes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 116

A cute Christmas Eve story

By EpicOracle - 24/12/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I realised I'm tired of the bossy attitude exuded by the woman who I once believed was my soulmate. Tonight might just be the last night we'd sleep on same bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 214

Rip off

By sourgirl101 - 04/01/2022 04:59

Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 241

Science has gone too far

By Amanda - 15/09/2021 20:00 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 180

Come to think of it, no, you didn't

By fail land - 02/04/2021 05:00

Today, some asswipe keyed a swastika into my car. Did I mention it’s a rental? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 94

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 20:01

Today, I got a new name, which is “We” apparently. My supervisor keeps admonishing me about details, saying, “WE don’t do that” and, “WE make sure to do this”, while she herself simply does anything she pleases, including the opposite of what she tells me “we do”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 131

By Dentedbumper - 07/03/2019 14:00

Today, I tried to back my car into my parking space while some of my neighbors were out by their cars. I accidentally rammed into the retaining wall behind my spot. I was hoping the neighbors didn't notice the huge crunching sound, but they did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 1 703