Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML
Today, the man I love showed me the ring he's going to give to the woman that he loves. Who is someone else. FML
Today, I went for my first eye test ever. Turns out I have astigmatism and need glasses. This is already on top of me already having a hearing aid, having hypertension of my joints, autism, and endometriosis. FML
Today, I found out that one of my workmates had passed away due to Covid-19. He was among five other workmates who were calling me a "pussy" for going back and forth to work in car, instead of public transport. These five guys were eventually infected by someone in the public transport. FML
Today, after a new coworker flirted heavily with me and made me fall in love with him quite badly, it has become obvious that he has no interest in me, and just did it for the game of it all. I'm hurt and still don't understand why. FML
Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML
Today, after I went in for surgery, I came out of extremely anemic from blood loss. As soon as I got home, I started my period. FML
Today, I had a phone interview, my first job interview in months. Two seconds in, I not only lost my signal, my phone froze up and stopped working completely. For six hours. FML
Today, I had a conversation with my doctor about how I am neurologically incapable of feeling happiness like a normal person, and he doesn't know what to do about it. His words, not mine. FML
Today, the guy I liked broke things off with me because he needed time to work on himself, and heal from his recent break up. I went on Instagram to find him reading a poem to his ex about how he wants to worship her body. FML
Today, I've been so starved of any and all physical affection in my 25 years of life, I got aroused from seeing someone cuddle up to my Final Fantasy XIV character. FML
Today, it’s been at least the 20th time I’ve heard the “porn stars” (meaning the couple who moved upstairs) going at it like rabbits. I've tried covering my ears, and it doesn’t work. FML
Today, my crush said that I was exceptionally ordinary. To my face. FML
Today, after my housemate handed in his notice to vacate without telling me beforehand, I had few days whilst working to make a decision to stay or vacate. In a panic, I chose vacate. On my day off I sat down with my finances and discovered I can't afford elsewhere. I asked to stay, my landlord put up rent by 50%. I might now become homeless. FML
Today, there's a boy in my high school who is being bullied because he is left-handed. Repeat: HE'S LEFTY. Are you fucking kidding me? FML
Today, I've been single for years because I felt I could never trust anyone again. I finally opened up to someone, after she told me how much she'd loved me for quite a while. Now she ignores me like I don't even exist. Crash and burn. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML
Today, I found out that the person who I considered my best friend actually hates my guts. FML
Today, I was excited to sleep in on my day off. My girlfriend woke me up at 6 am. To bring up an argument from a week ago. An argument about salad dressing. FML
Today, I overheard my husband’s disgusting misogynist brother saying that I shouldn’t be allowed to discipline my son, because “it’ll turn him into one of those pussy ass soyboy simps that listens to bitches.” My husband didn’t even back me when I told the douche to leave our house. FML
Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML
Today, according to my tax bill, I’ve been employed by a company I interviewed for over a year ago. They apparently hired me but forgot to tell me, then they also forgot to fire me for not turning up, so I’m somehow their unpaid employee and yet owe taxes for wages I’ve never been paid. FML
Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML
Today, my mom wrote me an email, asking how I was doing after an accident yesterday. I wrote back at length, telling her everything in detail. Two hours later, she calls me on the phone, asking how I am. She was simply too lazy to check her mail and expected me to tell her everything a second time. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend got us evicted. The lazy prick kept throwing dog poop onto the neighbors' patio instead of disposing it properly. Management told him he could either get rid of the dog or we had to go. My ex refused and slammed the door in his face. The lease is in my name, so my credit is fucked. FML
Today, I had to fire an employee for the first time in my life. She broke something that keeps breaking on its own, but she didn't report it. HR made me fire her. FML
Today, I was chatting with my optician and it came up that eye colour is determined by parents eye colour, such as how blue and brown-eyed parents can’t make a green-eyed baby. My wife and I are blue and brown. Our 6 year-old has green eyes. I confronted her and she admitted she'd had an affair. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
