Today, I gave up on Grindr because every time someone finally sees my picture, they ghost me. Either I’m really ugly, or most of the world hates black guys, either way… FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I quit dating forever. I’m an overweight girl with glasses. I attempted to put flattering selfies on dating profiles, but the guys run from me or ghost me when I meet them in person. I took a friend’s advice and put honest, full body pics of myself. I got zero messages. None. I give up. FML
Today, it was my first Grindr hookup (I know, I know…) and I ended up getting catfished by some random dude. I decided to just have a walk and get over it, but then I got followed by another random dude for 30 minutes. I can now confidently say I hate men. FML
Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML
Today, and for the 6th time, I sent a potential suitor a full body picture. I usually get ghosted or called a plethora of fatshaming names. This time around the guy told me, “Wow. I’d kill myself if I had that body.” I’ve been single for 4 years and no matter how hard I try to find love, this happens. FML
Today, I’m so ugly, I had to pay for more likes on Tinder because I ran out of them. FML
Today, while on Grindr, I saw that this guy I'm friends with and have liked for a while now had messaged me. I got all excited, just for it to be a picture of him flipping me off. FML
Today, I keep getting ghosted on every platform. People seem interested until they see my face, and vanish. What gives? I'm plain but not unattractive, nor heavy or blemished. Just average. Boring average. FML
Today, I decided to quit dating. I'm a plus-sized girl and I can’t get a guy to save my life. On dating apps they run for the hills when they see my full body. I even tried dating plus-size guys and even they have standards. I fucking hate society’s “ideal” beauty norms. FML
Today, I was wondering if I might be bi, so I hopped on Grindr and met up with a cute guy to experiment with. It ended up being so awful that I decided nope, definitely not bi. Unfortunately now he won't leave me alone, even after I told him that I made a mistake and I'm not interested. FML
Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
There’s very reliable reports of racism, particularly against black men, on Grindr and similar platforms. For straight couples, one of the sites published data a while back. Black women and Asian men struggled most. For LGTB+ couples, black men struggled most. Unfortunately racism is still common, especially when they can justify or anonimize it online.
RichardPencil 32
It's probably the second -- I heard Denzel Washington gave up on Grindr for the same reason. I'm sorry about that.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
It's probably the second -- I heard Denzel Washington gave up on Grindr for the same reason. I'm sorry about that.
Bogrbon 27
There’s very reliable reports of racism, particularly against black men, on Grindr and similar platforms. For straight couples, one of the sites published data a while back. Black women and Asian men struggled most. For LGTB+ couples, black men struggled most. Unfortunately racism is still common, especially when they can justify or anonimize it online.
stranger_boy 7
Talking about racism maybe is a bit excessive… I am not attracted to blond guys. I am not going to force myself to be inclusive! I know Caucasians who date only people of colour. I know black guys who date only white. Those studies should concentrate on personal tastes and leave political aspects out.
Brightside86 31
Would be interesting if Grindr implemented affirmative action. That way if users didn't match with a particular demographic enough eventually that demographic would be their only option. It's only fair.
Yudith 28
It would be better if the users were presented with a broad choice of diverse candidates, instead of going with the algorithm which apparently has been programmed by a bunch of racist white straight men.
Chazzster 32
People are going to be attracted to who they are attracted to. You cannot legislate or guilt people into being attracted to someone that’s just not who attracts them. Social media tends to be geared towards visual images. Accept this if you are going to use social media. Post a recent picture of yourself with your profile. Get a friend or a professional if necessary to take a good but representative (not photoshopped) picture of you. If people are going to be turned off by something about your image, you might as well not waste time going thought the introductory formalities and then have them be dissatisfied with the real you.