The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 31 July 2021, 20:01 ·Coventry, United Kingdom

Weebs unite!

Today, I realised how much my family prefer my cousin than me. I love anime/manga, but my family never got involved, so it was very lonely growing up and I was bullied in school for it. Now I'm an adult, my cousin is into it, and they want me to take a interest in her so, "she has someone to talk and isn't lonely." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 203

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Anonymous · 22 June 2021, 04:01

No shot

Today, I had emergency surgery to remove my fallopian tubes. I'm one of the 0.5% of people who get pregnant after having their tubes tied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 8 November 2020, 02:02 ·Minden, Canada

Family man

Today, my fiancé told me that his work is more important than our family. We have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 194

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Dina · 15 July 2021, 14:01

Golden child

Today, I found out my mother would rather sleep than attend my soccer games, volleyball tournaments, or see me win any awards. However, she was present to see the dog get potty trained, filming the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 117

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Composureless · 7 March 2023, 18:00

Life in vain

Today, I'm writing an eulogy for my younger brother who shot himself… and realizing that neither of us has ever done shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · 6 December 2020, 02:01 ·Malaysia

Little shit

Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 172

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dead · 31 March 2021, 23:00

Cheer up sleepy dreams

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 154

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Anonymous · 19 October 2021, 17:00 ·United States

Get away from me

Today, my mother snapped and took her frustrations out on me. Whenever she has a problem with other family members, it falls on me because she can't show them her true face to them. And she wonders why I hide away all the time… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 15 July 2023, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

Too much information, thanks

Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031 You deserved it 141

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Anonymous · 27 February 2022, 04:00

Slightly homophobic, but OK…

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 191

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Anonymous · 30 April 2022, 02:00 🌶️ Spicy

What are you doing, human?

Today, my husband and I were starting to get freaky. He was rubbing himself on my lady parts and I looked over to my side where my dog was intensely following my man’s junk with her eyes. I laughed so hard I farted, peed myself, and broke a cup in under 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 549

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Confused · 9 May 2022, 14:00

Either/Or

Today, my long distance girlfriend finally responded to me, after a week of silence. Unfortunately, the response was to block me. I'm pretty sure she has found someone else, but doesn't want to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 146

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Anonymous · 19 March 2022, 10:00

Send help!

Today, it's my fifth month with my grandmother-in-law living with me and my partner. She's the most toxic, manipulative person I've ever met in my life. I have no idea when she's leaving. I literally run into rooms when I hear her coming downstairs so I don't have to talk to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 148

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Anonymous · 5 June 2022, 10:00

Daddy's little girl

Today, I got into a screaming fight with my little sister. Why? Because I'm getting "too chummy" with our new stepmom, who by the way is a very sweet woman, and has made our dad so happy since they met. But my sister has made up her mind that all stepmothers are evil. She's seventeen and still thinks like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 106

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Anon · 24 March 2021, 00:30 🌶️ Spicy

Time to shop

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 481

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Sorry babe · 29 November 2020, 17:02 ·United States

Lightweight

Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 272

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Ally · 19 May 2022, 16:00

Mama Bear

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. We've been dating for almost 5 months and are extremely in love. His mom basically said to me, "I want what’s best for my son and you aren’t it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 27 December 2021, 07:59 ·Weehawken, United States

Is she Julia Stiles?

Today, I asked a girl out. She sent me a whole list of reasons that she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 176

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Anonymous · 21 May 2023, 12:00 ·Corvallis, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Cranking

Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 371

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Anonymous · 30 May 2022, 16:00 🌶️ Spicy

Pure concentration

Today, my boyfriend bought Elden Ring and hasn’t listened to me once all day. At one point I got his attention by waving my bare boobs at him to remind him it’s his turn to cook. Unfortunately he didn’t listen to me then either, because, you know, my boobs were out and his ears shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 528

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Anonymous · 27 November 2020, 10:58 ·Singapore, Singapore

Technologically challenged

Today, during my Zoom PTM my teacher screen-shared his Chrome tab, in which he had opened porn instead of the presentation he had to open, and now mom wants to change my school, where I've been studying in for past 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 145

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Secret girl · 6 November 2021, 02:01 ·Seoul, Korea, Republic of

Thruple

Today, it was insinuated that my only other female co-worker is seeing the guy I'm seeing. He bashes her all the time to me, too. Now, I wonder what he says about me, to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 170

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Anonymous · 28 September 2019, 06:00 ·Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Rollercoaster ride

Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 1 818

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Anonymous · 7 August 2022, 06:00

Self medicated

Today, my husband is a chef and now he has Covid, he's so desperate not to lose his senses of taste or smell that he’s started gargling vodka to kill the virus in his throat faster. He’s even started squirting it up his nose, then crying because of the pain. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 20 April 2021, 08:00

Too good to be true

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 127

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Anonymous · 4 December 2020, 02:02

All in the family

Today, I found out my boyfriend of a year is actually my cousin. Thanks, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 22 June 2022, 10:00

Wingnuts

Today, thanks to an electric shock, I technically died for about 50 seconds until my coworker managed to restart my heart. Now my deeply religious aunt and uncle pester me constantly, demanding to know if I met God or saw a white light, or the fires of hell. They’re absolutely fucking relentless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 935

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Anonymous · 1 September 2022, 18:00 ·Clear Lake, United States

Failing upwards

Today, I found out the job I applied for in IT was offered to coworker. I'm going to school for it, she has no degree/desire/knowledge of it. She was my trainer, I literally worked beside her for 2.5 years, and kept saying, "I hope you get it, I'm not going to apply." It was offered 5 days ago, which I found out about from another coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 171

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Anonymous · 30 October 2020, 08:08

Thanks, Marley

Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 289

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Anonymous · 5 February 2022, 14:00 ·Phoenix, United States

Alexa play "Just Make it Stop" by Low

Today, my divorce mediation is in a few days and I had planned for a stress-free weekend to be rested and prepared. In the course of 24 hours, half my office quit, I got a splinter to wood embedded under a finger nail and had to get it removed by an urgent care doctor, then I found out I get ripped off by someone. P.S. I got COVID too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029 You deserved it 160

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