Today, my evil twin sister was preparing for her prom. When I saw her trying on her dress, she looked at me and said, “First to get a boyfriend, a prom date, and into college. Maybe you’ll die first?” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mean, nasty, arrogant, bully of a sister is getting married for the second time. Meanwhile, I’ve always been kind, caring, considerate… and single as a damn Pringle. FML
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML
Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
Today, my sister announced that she just got engaged… right as I was in the midst of giving birth to my twin daughters. The thing is, she's not actually engaged. In fact, she's single. She just couldn't stand that I was "upstaging" her and "had to think of something fast." FML
Today, I was excited about my friend going wedding dress shopping, so before I went to go work out, I decided to try on a prom dress from high school to remember what it felt like to get dressed up. It was too tight, I broke the zipper, and spent 45 minutes trapped before I cut myself out. FML
Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Why aren't you going to the prom, Cinderella? Try to steal her boyfriend by offering him freaky sex shit. Remember the words of ZZTop: "I got a gal who lives on the hill, she won't do it but her sister will."
JasonThorn 23
"Not if you keep flapping your gums like that, b*tch."
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Why aren't you going to the prom, Cinderella? Try to steal her boyfriend by offering him freaky sex shit. Remember the words of ZZTop: "I got a gal who lives on the hill, she won't do it but her sister will."
JasonThorn 23
"Not if you keep flapping your gums like that, b*tch."
Bonniibiik 6
You don’t need a date to go to prom. Life isn’t a competition. Happiness is about being content not winning. Do not compare your life or path with others. You’re doing great.
Jonkbaby 23
Just a lil insecurity on her part