Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML
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Top comments
mfranks19891989 10
Slicing your finger I can understand that can happen with a new knife or when your cutting something hard. But stabbing yourself in the hand how do you do that unless your not using your knife safely.
slym12312425 9
Soooo... no mumblety-peg with the k-bar later?
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Comments (4)
mfranks19891989 10
Slicing your finger I can understand that can happen with a new knife or when your cutting something hard. But stabbing yourself in the hand how do you do that unless your not using your knife safely.
evilplatypus 39
Aren’t you more likely to cut yourself with a dull knife?
RichardPencil 32
I don't think you're a good recruit for the Swiss Army. They don't train with their most famous weapon system with self-harm.
slym12312425 9
Soooo... no mumblety-peg with the k-bar later?