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The all-time greatest FMLs

Losing more than I'll ever have

By Into the darkness - 30/03/2021 21:30

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 122

Poor odds

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 08:01 - Saint Lucia - Castries

Today, I looked into my fiance's Twitter to see he follows tons of "nipslips" and adult/porn pages, even though we've had numerous fights with him making excuses as to how/why I've been "misunderstanding" past issues. At this point I've pretty much bet my life on this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 917

Let me stay!

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 23:00

Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 177

Healthy marriage

By I'mmessedup - 12/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, I was told I should try treating my wife the way she treats me when I seek out her affection, so she can see how bad it hurts. Not only could I never do that to her, but that would require her attempting to show me even the simplest form of affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 163

Scumbag

By old mom - 29/09/2023 06:00

Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 414

The precious truck

By Anonymous - 05/09/2021 11:00

Today, I got fired because, while responding to an emergency page for the volunteer fire department to help find a man in a field with a gunshot wound, I backed into a rock with the company truck that I drive to and from work. Nobody asked about the guy with the bullet inside him. He's OK now, in case anyone cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 174

WTF mom?

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 09:59

Today, my mom is becoming a Wiccan, at least that’s the lie I told the neighbours when they demanded to know why my mom was smoking weed naked, waving charms around, and dancing amongst our trees. I actually have no idea what she was doing, and when she sobered up, she had no idea why she did it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 109

Couch fights!

By Butters - 24/09/2022 10:00 - Australia - Lathlain

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 130

Awkward pause

By MothmanKirbaby - 10/04/2021 14:00

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 160

Quickie

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 02:00

Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 298

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 02:00

Today, I woke up to my mum on the phone telling her boss that she'd tested positive for Covid, which means I can’t see my girlfriend before she moves 6 hours away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 132

Can't win

By yup0308 - 01/05/2021 05:01 - United States - Byron Center

Today, and for almost 6 years, my wife and I have had issues fighting when we’re drunk. I’ve always gotten/accepted the blame. I quit drinking to try and better our marriage. Now she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 143

Mom of the week

By please come home - 30/11/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my son spilled his milk at the table. My wife got in his face and screamed that he took her body, her career, her friends, and her life from her, then stormed out of the house. He won't stop wailing and crying, she won't answer her phone, and I'm completely shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 238

Suffer little chives

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I found out where the puddle in the basement came from. I thought the freezer was broken, but no. My mom is running what can only be called a death camp for vegetables in there. She buys them, then forgets about them until they turn liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 77

Welcome to the danger zone

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 22:00

Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 332

Trust your gut

By no more please - 29/06/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 291

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 02:02

Today, after spending hundreds of dollars on parts and tools, and hours of research to teach myself how to perform the work, I upgraded my bike. It was also today that I made it 4 blocks from my house on my first ride before I hit a curb and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 177