The Top

OP here, I live in Maryland and had to fly to Dallas for my hockey tournament. Although my stick showed up at the right airport, my bag containing my gear was somehow flown to Jacksonville instead of Dallas.

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 238

You deserved it 2 387

Good boy

By Anonymous - 11/05/2017 02:00

Today, my dog was diagnosed with a torn ACL. This costs $1500-$2500 to treat. Three months ago, he had heart worms. That cost $1400 to treat. I adopted this dog from a shelter four months ago to help relieve some of my stress and anxiety. I don't feel any less stressed or anxious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 797

You deserved it 561

Training day

By smalls727 - 22/11/2016 17:46

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat piss and moved further away from the other person, only to later get in my car and realize my cat had peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 732

You deserved it 2 413

Pleased to meet you

By homewrecker - 08/11/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 144

You deserved it 6 628

By Jetlagged - 03/06/2017 22:00

Today, I'm stuck at the airport overnight, because my phone didn't update its time zone after flying in, so I watched my train leave, thinking mine wasn't due for another hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 903

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 20:02

Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 187

Shitty customers

By Rosie J. - 10/11/2016 02:45 - United States - Leawood

Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 424

You deserved it 588

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 367

You deserved it 338

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 30/06/2017 02:00

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 939

You deserved it 371

By I wasn't being clingy geez - 23/10/2016 17:18 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "too clingy". I haven't seen her in over 3 weeks and texted her first once. Guess that's still too much for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 842

By jaymaag25 - 20/10/2016 06:28 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 214

You deserved it 967

By Cheese luv - 21/09/2016 16:55 - Australia - Watson

Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 018

You deserved it 2 250

By ltwlty - 20/09/2016 07:07 - China - Beijing

Today, I still can't poop unless I hear the sound of the bathroom fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 810

You deserved it 1 437

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 2 137

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 262

You deserved it 11 737

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 471

You deserved it 18 516

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 403

You deserved it 2 526

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 163

You deserved it 3 620

Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 244