Metal as ****
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
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Top comments
in_side_out 0
**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out
Good_old_Grim 8
Where is the "congratulations" button?
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Comments (321)
in_side_out 0
**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out
iliketurdles 7
whats a mosh pit? :$
gooBUZZ 0
Sorry, I hate posts like this, but dude, google is your friend. Use it.
iliketurdles 7
Actually me and Google are not on speaking terms. I teabagged his wife. Besides I have the right to ask whatever I want; freedom of speech and all that good stuff.
ImThePope 2
How old are you?... How do you not know what a mosh pit is?
quaddrummer93 0
14 nobody can really explain a mosh pit. It's like a ****** you just have know idea what it's like until you have been in one :D
gooBUZZ 0
Yes #20, you have right to ask... but if you were smart you would search it and find a result within a minute, and not have to worry about comments such as this one.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
It's the most painful, sweaty, stinky, disgusting, crowded, ******* amazing thing ever.
iliketurdles 7
Err, I'm 18 and I probably know what it is but use a different word for it.
iliketurdles 7
27, well maybe you should NOT post comments like that instead of warning me about them, and furthermore I think I have right to post a comment without having to worry about people such as yourself with hostile comments.
cradle6 13
n (Performing Arts / Dancing) Informal an area at a rock-music concert, usually in front of the stage, where members of the audience dance in a frantic and violent manner
zukinihudini 0
a mosh pit is the best thing in the entire world listen to The Toxic Waltz by Exodus and you will get it
iliketurdles 7
ohh.. no thanks I'm not into that. Thank you for the definition.
godofcyanide 8
#41 - YOU RULE for mentioning Exodus' "The Toxic Waltz"!!! A favorite song from my youth. I was fortunate to see - and mosh to - Exodus back then. Simply amazing. OP - FYL, but your child is going to be awesome, so get used to it. :D
decibel_fml 0
The smartass wannabe f#cks around here eh. a mosh pit is when metalheads love the show so much they form 2 groups and ram into each other in glorious testosterone.
bearslion21 0
94 that's a wall of death stupid ****
fakeaccountX 6
Sounds like my childhood!
instnt1nfction 17
everyone must watch the video of a guy who disappears after the mosh pit
ImThePope 2
The wallof death is something you could expect from a lamb of god concert. I'm not aware of many other bands having that big of a mosh pit at their concerts... I would like to know of more, though! I'm alway bored, waiting for lamb of god to come through wherever I live to get into a good mosh pit.
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
mosh pit are soooooo much fun. your kid is gonna do great at Mayhem Fest.
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
130- Mayhem fest is full of that. BFMV has some, I think. but I know fer sure that slipknot has them almost every concert.
ktbird 0
20, you do have freedom of speech and can say whatever you want. We do too though, and have the right to let you know you're a dumbass.
Iskaria 0
Sorry to say it turdles but 'mosh pit' is the same term in Manchester. Moshing is like... metal concert 'dancing' that mainly entails headbanging and chucking each other about a lot. A mosh pit is a circle in which much moshing is to be had. I recommend YouTube. As for you complaining about the amount of responses requesting you use common sense, a search engine and a keyboard. Do the aforementioned, grow a pair, and realise this is FML before asking silly questions.
natas_fml 13
DevilDriver holds the record for the biggest mosh pit ever....ok that may not be true, but they're bigger than pussy band bullet for my valentine for sure.
lerouxmaster 7
Actually, my son got kicked out of the child care center...
rallets 23
^ LITERALLY.
GKex 0
How do you know what a teabag is but not know what a mosh pit is?
iliketurdles 7
I don't like rock. I like sex. I hope that clears that question up?
TSS_Fan 0
All Time Low tried to do one too. I don't think they succeeded tho. Lol.
Rehn 0
Moshing is not dancing
davide234 0
noshing IS dancing
WishResign 0
157, I know you may think of it as an FML but you've got a kid with character. put him on tv or something where awesome kids' talent can be appreciated. I'm sorry but what you said just makes him even more badass for a 4 yr old.
bet258258 0
that is awesome, not a fml
lerouxmaster 7
:(
apcfan009 0
bring me the horizon does a wall of death. first time i experienced it....i hope my kids gonna be that badass
oi_nipps 0
very true <3
bobert258 0
you're an idiot, have you never been to a concert with general admission??? :@
roserotts 5
LOL totally ******* teaching my kid to mosh before he can even talk
tabasorus 0
moaning isn't always to metal...I know tht passion pit watchers tried to start one... I wouldnt be caught dead at a pussy concert like that, but my friends went...
flippinsweetness 0
u were in a ****** when u were born...
RinaVampire31 18
37, that's "hardcore dancing" not moshing..
CalebEatsZombies 2
Turdles a mosh is when a big circle forms and you basically beat the shit out of each other. Or at least that's what happened o me I was at a bring me the horizon concert left to go home I was aching and looked in the mirror. I had 15 bruises on my back 2 on both my arms, and my leg was bleeding. And that was the story of my first mosh
CalebEatsZombies 2
Or that was a wall of death I don't remember
YourMomxD 8
185 You obviously have not been to an All Time Low concert or seen their movie.
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
Pretty much any metal band has had pretty big walls at the festivals. Maybe not on their own tours, but definitely at places like Mayhem or Download. Here's a few - BFMV, Slipknot, A7X, Make Them Suffer, Trivium, FFDP, BMTH (old and new), AA, DevilDriver, Children Of Bodom, AxeWound, As I Lay Dying, I Killed The Prom Queen, Killswitch Engage, Korn, Lamb Of God, any thrash band from the Big 4 till now, Miss May I, Parkway Drive, Shadows Fall, Suicide Silence, Walls Of Jericho... I'm just gunna stop there, I'm bored. While a lot of them may not be the full crowd walls of death like LoG or Slipknot have, they're still walls inside the pit. Gotta remember the wall is essentially people just running directly at each other instead of smashing into multiple people
thisismyhead 25
That's a wall of death... Yikes.
chowE_fml 4
you should be proud !
Ran3 0
I wish I had a kid this epic
ayleyyasuko 0
no kidding. in no way is this an fml. oh lawdy, please let my kids be half as stellar as this...
keven501 12
He's going place in the future
iamsoobored 0
I really don't see how this is an FML, this is good news.
Good_old_Grim 8
Where is the "congratulations" button?
msapp2 0
agreed. thats just awesome !
alekolu 1
that's what I was thinking! this isn't a fml at all!
boomer_chick 0
totally agree!
joshhodel2011 0
Ikr!!!!
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
So true. That kid is amazing!!! Metal horns to you for raising a killer kid m/
Alleged_Cranium 7
I hope they are teaching 'safe' mosh pitting.
dropppdeaddd 0
there isn't such thing as safe moshing.
counterfit 10
I don't think wearing a condom helps when moshing.
wawabottle 0
celebrate by buying him a ice cream
bradlyl 0
I would be so proud! rock on little dude!!
m311 6
haha
rottentomatoes 7
:D indeed.
travis1980___ 0
You say it like it's a bad thing.