Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML
Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML
Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML
Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML
Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
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Top comments
manb91uk 22
I'd you're looking for sympathy you're in the wrong place... If you can't control yourself when drunk, don't drink. Dumbass
TheUnforgiven 8
Dumb. Ass.
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Comments (17)
TheUnforgiven 8
Dumb. Ass.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
The response you get from me will be simple: Don't get drunk next time.
Sinshine 28
Now like know your limits.
manb91uk 22
I'd you're looking for sympathy you're in the wrong place... If you can't control yourself when drunk, don't drink. Dumbass
thehunterofprey 5
exactly
tranced_ 45
People like you give alcohol a bad name!
ThrottleJockey 36
Yeah! What they said: alcohol like you gives people a bad name!
wanted_2_want 40
Is this what a “vivid dream” expression comes from??
RichardPencil 32
I don’t know about fat, but you’re ex-boss is a useless piece of shit. A real boss would send one emotionless text to fire you. Only a useless POS would waste so much time calling and writing unprofessional texts.
Glowworm56 27
Let me guess, that other vivid dream where you were dancing around naked in the supermarket turned out to be real too?
acmariner99 25
In the category of what not to do, I present:
DanielleinDC 34
My general rule is that anything that has someone doing something stupid while s/he is drug (or high) is an automatic YDI.
jbuckets_404 39
Drink much?