Not a morning person
By Anonymous - 26/07/2018 01:30
By Anonymous - 26/07/2018 01:30
By kittywings - 29/04/2016 01:14 - United States - Bridgewater
By Loveless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By AreYouSerious - 16/09/2018 22:00
By minimazing - 07/10/2018 05:00
By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:16 - United States - Davis
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Farnborough
By marriedbutlonely - 15/02/2016 02:36 - United States - Federal Way
By Anonymous - 05/11/2018 22:00
By Sgt_Jackrum - 05/02/2016 10:27 - United Kingdom - Oldbury
By lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43
By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:33 - United States - Antioch
By Anonymous - 18/12/2018 12:00
By tara - 18/12/2015 17:49 - Switzerland - Zug
By anonymous - 06/03/2019 14:00
By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 14:24 - United States
By epipen life - 11/03/2019 00:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 25/03/2019 18:00 - United States - Rio Rancho
By SpookyBiscuits - 27/12/2016 16:27
By fuckyou - 21/05/2019 06:00
By Kuromaus - 15/05/2017 12:34
Hey, OP here. A few things I couldn't put due to word limits: the flight I was getting off was coming in late due to weather. I literally had one minute to get to the gate once off the plane. The connecting flight had started loading at the same time we landed. On top of that, the crew to dock us were having issues and delayed us in getting off. I wouldn't have even had time to stop at a bathroom on the way. The gate I needed to get to was upstairs. Since it was a delay out of my control, I did get moved to another flight for free, it just happened to be the latest one heading back to home. I could have probably made it to (or barely missed) last call if I hauled it but I was not going to do that while bleeding. I didn't know that airplanes had amenities like that in the bathroom. I've never actually been in one, and it was only my second time flying. (That toilet paper trick doesn't work for me, mine is too heavy, sadly.)
By smalls727 - 22/11/2016 17:46
By LaurenB - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Epping
By Rosie J. - 10/11/2016 02:45 - United States - Leawood
By Severus_Snape_ - 20/09/2015 07:11 - United States - Los Angeles
Wow, this is the first time one of my FMLs have been accepted! I googled whatever was happening on my arm, and I think 26 may or may not be right. According to the internet, if should go away in a few days, and it was a spider bite. But ever since I was a kid, I've always attracted some weird bug bites, but this has never happened to me before. Unfortunately, I am the type of person that will twist my wrist and still just say that I'm fine. Like that time where I threw up twice when I was 11 years old and still insisted that I was well enough to go to school, only to be sent back home when I threw up again. I applied some type of cream thing on the bite, and it has gotten better. It'll probably go away in a few days. Hopefully.
By Welp - 14/06/2017 14:00
By I wasn't being clingy geez - 23/10/2016 17:18 - United States - Anchorage
By K-Rat - 09/10/2016 12:16 - United States
By smyp - 27/08/2015 08:23 - Lithuania
By tedfragle - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bournemouth
Keywords
Hey all, OP here To everyone wondering: yes, it was disgusting. After freaking out for a little, I just tried my best not to puke and washed the cockroach guts off my back. I smashed the half-dead cockroach with a shampoo bottle just to put the poor thing out of its misery and threw out the loofah. Speaking of the loofah, it was one of those really hard thick sponges, which is probably why the cockroach's shell got crushed by it (I also thought cockroaches' shells were too tough to be crushed like that, but maybe the steam from the shower softened it?) Anyway, though it was really really gross, the one good thing that came out of this is that my FML actually got posted, which is pretty cool. Thanks guys :)