Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
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Top comments
thecuriouskat 20
Honestly, would it have been that hard to say "Excuse me sir, but would you please move?"
kinky44 28
Behavior like that just blows me away.
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Comments (66)
thecuriouskat 20
Honestly, would it have been that hard to say "Excuse me sir, but would you please move?"
JMichael 26
It wouldn't have but some people can be major assholes.
Ichiya 29
Ram him then grab your stuff and calmly walk away.
garrett_8614 14
I'd much rather politely ask him to step a foot or so to the left, than to put my face within farting distance of his ass.
spamhands1 18
Unlucky, some people are just out of order
kinky44 28
Behavior like that just blows me away.
cakefete2 31
I just pictured OP's hair being blown back in the "wind".
iitzHarris 12
Disgusting
purelymixed 17
Try using your words
Ichiya 29
Nope use your fists it works faster.
euphoricness 28
Poop in their mouths!
Misswildsides 22
This doesn't seem like the appropriate situation to do so. Or at any time.
Seabiscuit218 12
But why bend down? That's just awkward.
sweetlysarcastic 3
You must've been in Walmart, sounds like their class of people.
devildog562 33
You can't avoid them but putting them in the spotlight is usually really effective. "Good lord sir did you just shit your pants? WHEW. Did you have a hamster die in your anus." Make sure you talk loud enough so people hear it too and stare into their eyes while saying it if you can.
keiNan_fml 35
now you can use the deodorant