Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
Today, my daughter told me that she’s pregnant with twins. It would be an exciting piece of news, except for the fact that she’s a sophomore in high school. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my 16 year-old daughter thought it would be a great idea to announce at our Christmas dinner that she’s expecting twins, and that she wants to keep them. She doesn’t know who the dad is. Merry Christmas to me, I guess. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
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Top comments
bloopaloop 27
A+ parenting.
pjsr 33
She probably has it narrowed down because three of the teen guys told her “I had a vasectomy” and four told her “Oh, I didn’t cum.”
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
To make matters better, she can hit up all three guys for child support payments and she'll be rich. This assumes none of the guys will challenge the paternity and demand a test. That ought to be a classic episode of Maury.
Frank Golesic 2
But the three guys are her brothers !
bloopaloop 27
A+ parenting.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Curious as to what age you had your daughter?
pjsr 33
She probably has it narrowed down because three of the teen guys told her “I had a vasectomy” and four told her “Oh, I didn’t cum.”
bloopaloop 27
Seeings we are all in quarantine it must have been one of her three brothers
Laney_Lovely 8
Honestly... that says a lot about you as a parent
unknownxoxo1 4
like u can do better
katiepda 11
This had nothing too do with her parenting skills. Children make their own decisions regardless of how their parents raise them. I got pregnant at 15. It had nothing to do with the way my parents raised me.
Kayyyy 1
Is that not the plot to Mamma Mia? 😬😂