Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Do you have sleep apnea? It’s characterized by snoring and by stopping breathing for a while when you are asleep… My ex had all those symptoms and sometimes I would shake her when she stopped breathing when she was asleep to get her to breathing again. Maybe this is your cat’s version of that?
RichardPencil 32
That's for sure. All cats will eat your dead body. Your cat seems to want to get a head start on the rest of the species.
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Comments (4)
D J's MOM 17
those are love nibbles, also she's probably hungry after running around with the nighttime crazies.
tiptoppc 21
5 cats with midnight crazies becomes a Catastrophe. I would know! I also have the Guinness “Cat Ass Trophy” to prove it!
RichardPencil 32
That's for sure. All cats will eat your dead body. Your cat seems to want to get a head start on the rest of the species.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I don't think she's going to wait. Sounds like she's already started.
Chazzster 32
Do you have sleep apnea? It’s characterized by snoring and by stopping breathing for a while when you are asleep… My ex had all those symptoms and sometimes I would shake her when she stopped breathing when she was asleep to get her to breathing again. Maybe this is your cat’s version of that?
SirEnigM0nk 22
Sleep Catnea.