Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You let your dog cum on you? Both of you need to be put down.
WistayShlaio82 13
Your dog has no respect towards you. You are the pet.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
You let your dog cum on you? Both of you need to be put down.
jbuckets_404 39
Your dog is the hero we need, not the hero we want....
WistayShlaio82 13
Your dog has no respect towards you. You are the pet.
JasonThorn 23
Pet, nothing. OP is its B*TCH.
kfchicken 31
that sucks I'm sorry, but there no way you don't deserve this
Josh Johnson 8
“He’s got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If he lays in to you, it’s best to just let him finish.”
Gubbon 17
You were obviously not convincing enough with your act.
AngelBaby666 12
get a handle on your dog...just imagine if he tried to hurt you.