Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
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Top comments
daviddupree 0
Wait.. What? Lol
RS808 6
@ #8.. I also had to read this FML a couple times before I understood it. The story is pretty much told in reverse, if that helps.
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Comments (64)
daviddupree 0
Wait.. What? Lol
daviddupree 0
Two words... **** YOU
RS808 6
@ #8.. I also had to read this FML a couple times before I understood it. The story is pretty much told in reverse, if that helps.
MrSassypants 34
8 If you can't comprehend the FML, I think it would be pretty smart to ask what it is about.
AGhost5445 25
1 The wife is a crazy bitch.
FMLKitten 15
8) The story isn't in chronological order, and he has the right to point out that the FML doesn't make sense. Freedom of speech, no?
golliboy 6
might be bipolar or have tourrettes too :I
iOceanus 18
22) Thank you, I finally understand the story xD
rhidiculous 4
hmmm the FML was actually edited to connect the first sentence...(it ended in a period, but now it has a semi-colon) Not sure if anyone else noticed, but it seems to make better sense now that it was edited! and 8 just needs to lighten up! :)
Oohyeahh 5
Crrraaazzzyyyyy Biaatch...Horrible bosses
LolPieRofl 11
Only in Ireland!
ShyAnn29 15
I still don't understand it. EDIT: after about the 3rd time, I get it now.
bredahl 26
#8 - You're starting to sound like the wife of the person who wrote the FML. Yelling at a stranger for some misunderstood reason.
alycion 39
Not everyone with an anger outburst is bipolar. Could have just been pms
S182 15
1 - exactly how I felt, lol... I understand what happened... I just want to know why!!!
NikkiRainbow63 31
Just for anyone who doesn't understand since it's worded a bit strangely: OP was embarrased because his wife yelled at another customer because she wanted to hear what the voice over the loudspeaker said. And she's crazy. Hope it helped ^^
williamcarter93 13
Why did you have to stand silent? Why didn't you speak up?
ruabadfishtoo 0
Probably too embarrassed/in shock.
SaturnV 25
You're not married, are you?
shannonreneee 11
Dear god, never intervene or try to calm down an angry wife. You're always screwed no matter what.
MormonPornstar 7
Ugh yeah.. Dude, even if she's wrong - she's right. In fact, it doesn't matter how wrong she is, you'll never be right as long as she's upset. If momma's not happy, nobody is happy. "The only B word you should call women is beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful...". - Some guy who's smarter than me
dead247 13
#69 In a relationship a guy is never, in a millions years, right....ever.
sens3sfailing 25
I would go as far as to just start yelling at the guy with her, just to see if you'll get any for standing up for her being absolutely bat shit insane
williamcarter93 13
and that is why she acts like this in public....because, judging by these comments, she knows she can get away with it. It shouldn't matter if it's a wife or a husband, that's no excuse to just stand by and let them act out in public. If a man had done it, people would probably be calling him out on his behavior, so treat a woman no different. If she's so irrational that she can't deal with that, well then that's her fault. Being married shouldn't mean you have to kiss someone's ass/put up with their bad behavior in public.
kitkatkit 4
Again 106, you aren't married are you? Being married does mean kissing someone's ass/putting up with their behavior ANYWHERE!
SaturnV 25
OP calling his wife out on her bad behavior right then and there would just agitate the situation more. While public shaming might serve as a potent deterrent, I doubt that the repercussions of further provoking his wife would be worth it. I agree that he should express his dismay to her later when she's calmed down and in private, but that does nothing to quell OP's humiliation while his wife's bad behavior is in progress.
kristabelli 19
Very well said 119. My exact thoughts on the matter.
josiemorehouse 12
What is the deal with everyone saying 'the woman is always right'?? That's BS. I used to freak out at people at the grocery store because some people are slow and get in the way. My husband got so embarrassed that he told me that if I couldn't calm down, he'd never go to the grocery store with me again. It straightened me out. Well, that and medication... Because I also found out that I suffer from PMDD, hence the outbursts. FYL, OP, but if you don't confront your partner about the behavior, it will continue. Be nice about it, but definitely talk to her about it. Good luck, OP.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Why did she go ape shit again?
piff7 14
PMS maybe? Or just a realllyyyyyy bad day...
fuzz97 23
You just read the FML, how could you forget already
nictransitglory 4
This is why I don't shop at Walmart. And yes, by these actions of a deranged psychopath, them being at Walmart is implied.
TrimKibbles 12
The fact that OP is from Ireland suggests they weren't.
Leadamp 7
There are no walmarts in Ireland
flushedaway 8
Did you suggest she buy chocolates?
007type 26
Is it that time of the month already?
JoeRogansBEARD 15
CHOCOLATES!!! ... Don't worry I got the reference
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Yikes. I would've walked away and hid in a different aisle. I'm too ridden with anxiety, I couldn't stand to be near that! :P
PoshLife_Cross 5
Wait… what'd I just read?
RussianFox 13
OP's wife, while blinded with anger embarrassed OP in public by yelling at an innocent bystander.
PrincessPesa 20
33, thank you for explaining that with all the clarity of the finest local news team. I can even imagine the music. Beautiful.
MrHotShot22 6
You better raise your pimp hand and keep her in check.
HarleyQuinnFox 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
women these days are uppity brats. i wouldnt let her out in public until she can stop embarrassing you...better yet i wouldnt have married someone so nasty to complete strangers. i can imagine how she must treat ppl she knows personally.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
So I assume that you're an uppity brat? You did say "women these days"....
ruabadfishtoo 0
Not all women are like this. Maybe somethings going on in her life and she just snapped. It happens. And what is Op's wife-a dog?! She can go out and do whatever she wants to. One episode of random meanness doesn't mean anything.
EpicBlondie89 19
Yes let's act like women are children, simply because they have a bad day. And also base our marriages on whether or not said women have bad days. Because that's exactly how the world should be because PMS doesn't exist. Seriously though people have bad days, add expected. Don't judge so harshly.
rocketiquette 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I can agree. Girls/women these days (well, pretty much everyone) are pretty bitchy, tunnel visioned, selfish, shallow, and lack patience for anyone. I don't get along/agree with many girls for above reasons.
ruabadfishtoo 0
40- your comment is so rude. There is every type of women out there! Stop generalizing people.
johnny_derp 3
"women these days are uppity brats"? you don't sound like a closet misogynist at all! please. spare us the stale, overused sexist statements. only people who hate women use belittling, infantilizing terms like "uppity" and "brats", especially referring to women as a whole. I patiently await the butthurt male downvotes.
KaiserSD 8
Or maybe PMS just struck at full force and volume
writergirl23 19
48 I am a woman and I down voted you. Sure, it is a little sexist to label women as a whole as that, but it is also sexist to say abusing comments about men, men are not "butthurts" as a whole! Btw ... Butthurts?
BulldogHoops 14
The number of generalizations in this thread is too damn high!
cutiee108 5
Um are u not a woman? Grow up
nerdchic 5
So what you're practically saying Harley is that you don't have pms? Or better yet have a bad day or something going wrong in your life? Please. Basing marriage off of one instance is moronic. Get over it - people have bad days and it could possibly be op's fault. Shit happens
sens3sfailing 25
N66-THANK YOU FOR BEING ANTI HYPOCRITICAL! I see the few women who do pull the whole super feminist crap always go off and act like they are any better than a male sexist. If you aren't a sexist and say you're a gem
sens3sfailing 25
- feminist, you aren't, you are a civil rights activist and have my support. Lets end this feminism crap, it's sexist itself, support women's right, not the belittle meant of everyone else to try and achieve that goal, it's fool hearty and hypocritical. (Scrap gem from the end of previous post. Went to delete and accidentally sent it in a brain fart)
ajnorma 16
You have no idea why she acted that way, you're the one sounding like a brat not her.
jweezy89 4
99- I agree with you. I'm fully supportive of equality between all people, but the feminism camp has used sexism to fight sexism. While I understand what they are trying to achieve, they've gone about it in the worst way possible. Making men in general the enemy instead of targeting sexist doctrine.
Likian5 26
What...the...****?
HiddenValley 5
Dafuq?
Welshite 40
No "Daffy Duck" is actually a cartoon character. I suggest you get better acquainted with Looney Tunes so you can identify and spell the character's names correctly.
angeluv_2014 22
Seriously 19? You sound like a the 14 year old smartass of the class. Get over yourself.
andiewithlove 21
Seriously 35? You sound like the jerk who takes everything way too seriously, and doesn't understand sarcasm. Get over YOURself.
sirpantselot 22
I've got to say the comments on this FML are completely useless. Each one worse than the last. Lift, people!