The Top

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By BarryShitpeas - 19/09/2013 15:18 - United Kingdom - Cranbrook

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 667

You deserved it 5 777

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:22 - Germany

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 6 241

By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 19:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 3 044

By embarassed - 14/01/2011 10:11 - United States

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 5 379

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 377

You deserved it 35 447

Panic stations!

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 05:00

Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 1 143

By JJ_V3N0M - 03/01/2015 10:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 990

You deserved it 9 437

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 310

You deserved it 34 603

Hush, Mother

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 134

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, at the job I've had for eight years, I finally got the raise I was supposed to get a year ago. One hour later I found out the store was closing and we were all out of a job in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 504

You deserved it 2 273

Make it stop

By Whoffus - 14/12/2021 13:58

Today, I'm on sick leave waiting for surgery due to a nasty inner ear infection. When I sneezed yesterday, my balance was suddenly completely gone and now the tiniest movement, like moving to another position on the couch, standing up, or rolling over in my bed, makes me seasick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 849

You deserved it 7 678

TMI

By Grossedouttt - 04/07/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 538

You deserved it 3 742

Abort mission!

By happytuckerhappy - 30/12/2014 00:41 - United States - Chandler

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 3 172

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 06:45 - United States

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 493

You deserved it 7 166

By DiiiDiiine - 27/10/2014 14:22 - France - Limoges

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 386

You deserved it 3 783

Too Tired To Function

By FML Videos - 10/10/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

He doesn't like to move it move it.

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 86

Buzz off

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 16:59

Today, my mother is mad at me for deleting my Facebook account. I actually deleted the account because I'd had enough of putting up with her criticizing comments on every Facebook post I made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 118

Not a bio major

By Podcast bros must be stopped! - 31/01/2026 03:00

Today, I had a client argue that he shouldn’t have to pay the full amount of court ordered child support because the kids aren’t “fully his”. He swears that when a woman has multiple partners, trace amounts of DNA are left in the womb, creating kids with several fathers. Yes he was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 72

Red alert

By nobleach - 02/07/2009 14:05 - United States

Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 664

You deserved it 13 981

America's Funniest Home Videos

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 315

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 05:01

Today, as a 6 ft 8 woman, I never get much attention from men, until today when a guy who was 7 ft 1 approached me at the bar with the chat up line, "Hey little lady, you look about my size, can I buy you a drink?" It worked. I'm such a stereotype, we’re going on a date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 540

Birthday gift

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 03:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 172

Yuletide log

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 071

You deserved it 4 355

By Indiana - 16/01/2010 05:14 - Canada

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 067

You deserved it 9 070

By Rin - 15/01/2010 08:02 - United States

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 530

You deserved it 6 206

Nice guy

By LeftOut - 19/12/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years suggested I don’t display affection or try to hold his hand at a party because a girl there “recently got broken up with” and he doesn’t wanna “hurt her feelings.” When I replied that this was irrational, he told me, “Then don’t come at all stupid bitch, geez!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 06:29 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 004

You deserved it 2 490

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 462

You deserved it 3 251

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 401

You deserved it 5 996

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The Top

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 4 438

Today, despite not eating for a week, my digestive system is still overflowing with gas and I fart every 2 minutes. No medicines help, and the six doctors I’ve been to have not been able to find anything wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 109

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 148

Today, as part of my dad's campaign to force me to move out, he has decided that he is now a nudist. As soon as he gets home every day, he strips and sets his meat and potatoes free to swing in the breeze. I want to move out, desperately, but I can’t afford to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 289

Today, I got home to my grandma yelling at the top of her lungs that I didn't do everything I was supposed to when I was home. I literally washed dishes, cleaned counters, vacuumed, gathered trash, AND cleaned the bathroom. I didn't fold my blankets. That's it. That's what she was yelling about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 112

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a secret video folder of lesbians kissing from movies, TV shows, and games like The Last of Us, Arcane, Georgia and Ginny, and so on. He says it’s his ASMR folder because something about lesbian kissing noises is extra relaxing and helps him sleep. Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 140