Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Never gonna happen
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Weird logic
Today, I actually overheard the sentence, “People who can’t go vegan for medical reasons should die gracefully rather than eat an animal.” FML
Disloyal!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Ingredients check
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Poor doggo
Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML
Top comments
PSYqualiac 17
She was probably more concerned about the meat she doesn't eat. Sorry if my joke isn't kosher. I'm just hamming it up.
604 11
She just needs a hug. And bacon.
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Comments (110)
AnonymousUser90 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
First mistake was dating a vegan.
Shadowvoid 33
But i mean humans may not be animals but wouldn't be the same concept. Letting any creature die would be against her beliefs. Also if she even had any remote connection with OP, wouldn't you think she would choose hime over any rabid animal she doesn't know. (Yes i am aware that not all wild animals are rabid, this is hypothetical)
MzZombicidal 36
That's why OP is upset, #6...
WCARlover 35
Reminds me of the joke "if someone is a vegan who also does crossfit which one do they manage to fit into a conversation first?" :p
Pinwheel 10
Humans are animals.
zBLAKEz 23
I wanted to say "trick question -- vegans don't lift" but then I remembered, neither do people in crossfit. :/
lunar999 23
There's a vegan at my college who says "if someone attacked me i wouldn't fight back because i wouldn't like to hurt them"
doodlecloud 27
That's actually kind of admirable. I mean, it's not very self-preserving and I'd be surprised if they could actually go through with it as it kind of goes against your natural instincts. But it's pretty brave. Like some kind of super monk or something. And hey, I guess there might be some people who would stop beating on you when they realise you're not even trying...so it might just save you as well.
tygerarmy 35
Should tell her that if you had to choose between killing an animal and saving her, you'd choose to kill an animal.
Aimeejasmine 15
Well there is a difference, you have more chance of somehow saving yourself.. An animal, such as a chicken for example, is small and practically defenceless compared to a human
tazmanmike2013 17
I see your point but totally disagree. Especially your example that if someone is beating on you and you don't fight back, they may quit. Chances are if someone is beating on you and you don't fight back, they're going to beat harder. People who instigate fights don't typically have the moral values to say, "Hey, he/she is a pacifist, let me respect that!"
Vitotaylor36 13
If someone had OP at gun point, and a chicken right next to him at gun point, he has no more of a chance then the chicken to survive. So I hope she is equally confused when he leaves her.
Shadowvoid 33
I know why OP was upset. Why are you pointing that out to me. My point was that the girlfriend must not have a real connection to OP
doodlecloud 27
52 - By 'not very self-preserving' I actually meant that, as well as not defineding yourself, people may actually beat you harder, at least initially, for not even trying. I suppose I should've explained that but I kind of thought it was obvious. By saying some people may give up well...they have to give up eventually, unless they're planning on killing you. But there may be some people that get bored and give up. I hardly expect the majority to react that way though. I still think it's admirable to stick to your principles even if it may put you in danger (as long as you're not putting others in danger too).
McNarsty97 15
Ah beat me to it #1 and #25
randomname98 22
#48, humans are actually quite fragile compared to most animals. The only reason we survive is that we are smarter and use tools. You use the example of a chicken, but ignore the many other animals that have more than a fair chance in a fight, such as the dog in my picture, who is now 60 pounds and capable of killing me before I have a chance to fight back.
BamBAmGG 14
#44 That's just crude. Op doesn't need to be a bitch about it just cause his girlfriend has a compassionate heart towards animals.
PSYqualiac 17
She was probably more concerned about the meat she doesn't eat. Sorry if my joke isn't kosher. I'm just hamming it up.
AnonymousUser90 21
Keep going
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Please, we're bacon you to continue.
cakefete2 31
Yea, you got chops kid.
604 11
She just needs a hug. And bacon.
aireeahna 23
But not in that order!
Yakostovian 18
That order is fine by me!
15Erik 21
Plants have feelings too...
Death69 24
Well, now you know where you stand. And in my opinion...Get the **** outta there! I'm all for loving your pet and what not. But she just took it too far.
Lexipants 21
That's veganism gone horribly wrong.
Exodiafinder687 58
As if veganism ever goes right.
pseud0nym 13
I believe you mean "That's veganism."
VeganDarkLight 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why are you so full of hate? Yeah, there are some vegans who take it too far... but it doesn't mean all of us are like that. I'm not telling anyone what to eat, yet I'm often being mocked for my eating habits. I don't get it, why can't everybody simply eat what he/she wants?
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm pretty sure they're just joking 63. Pretty much everyone on FML is very understanding and wants equality for all people (and animals even). Sometimes it's just funny to make jokes.
pseud0nym 13
#63; I wouldn't say a simple joke is cause to call me "full of hate."
candicorn 23
#63, I totally agree with you. I get a few simple jokes. Yeah, there are a lot of extremist vegans who don't waste any time pushing what they believe on you, so naturally vegans might be the punchline of a few not-so-nice jokes. But when you say things like, "As if veganism ever goes right," and "She just needs some bacon," that seems unnecessarily rude and insensitive of a vegan's beliefs. There are plenty of reasonable vegans who don't push their beliefs on others who simply want to do their part to minimize or eliminate pain and death. You don't often hear about those vegans because they aren't haphazardly vocalizing and pushing their beliefs on others. It might be worth thinking about the next time you are tempted to make a mean or over-generalizing statement about all vegans.
myoukei 31
Okay, i respect people's choices, and if you wana be vegan that's fine: you do you. There is however a difference between being a vegan and being an extremist. Your gf is unfortunately the later.
grunt_fml 17
There is an actual difference? Honestly, I am a great fan of "live and let live", but so far I have never met a vegan who did not behave like a complete jerk. Hell, the few vegans I know seem to spend most of the time bitching who is the best vegan or who is more vegan than the others. And in case they are not arguing with each other, they unite to attack everyone else.
askullnamedbilly 33
Being a vegan is pretty much the same as being an extremist vegetarian.
Allornone 35
I actually do know a vegan who is very nice about it. She only brings it up when it's relevant to the conversation, has never openly judged her meat-eating brethren, etc. veganism is her own personal belief, and she understands that. My point is- normal vegans are out there. They are just overshadowed by the pretentious, insufferable tools.
foxwasalamb 24
i and my best friend are both vegans. i can guarantee you were are not "bitches" about it and realize not everybody lives the same lifestyle as we do. she is more hardcore than i am, if i go on a date or to a family function, i don't request everything be vegan. i eat what they serve (exception of meat, i personally cant go that far) its unfortunate that everyone on this site either hates vegans/or has run into a bitchy one.
CaptainCookie 8
I know a whole family of vegans (and one vegetarian) who have never been assholes about being vegan. They'll even cook non-vegan food for their son (the vegetarian). They don't really talk about it either, and they've never criticized me or anyone else for not being vegan.
beanthemouse 13
Most vegans I have met are nice. I have met a lot of shit ones though.
MiLM 37
Someone doesn't understand the point of being vegan..... It means animals are equal to humans, not more important than them.
the_real_dvd 21
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
blackonblight 33
Four legs good, two legs bad. Ye gods I didn't know anyone took that literally ...
ldkindasucks 6
That's when you buy the biggest steak you can, cook it with her vegetables, and eat it in front of her.
NOTaDISTRACTION 17
Run, run and never look back