Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Sorry to hear that, OP. Good news, though! A quick Google search told me that it’s ok - “The good news is, you can — and should — continue breastfeeding your baby even if you get food poisoning. Your breast milk should not give your baby food poisoning, and in fact, it can help protect them from contracting the germ that caused the food poisoning.” All the sources agree on this, including the CDC. If you’d like to do your own research, just search for: can you breastfeed with food poisoning
cuz803 46
Do you think your grandma might secretly have it out for you? 😬
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
cuz803 46
Do you think your grandma might secretly have it out for you? 😬
Marcella1016 32
Sorry to hear that, OP. Good news, though! A quick Google search told me that it’s ok - “The good news is, you can — and should — continue breastfeeding your baby even if you get food poisoning. Your breast milk should not give your baby food poisoning, and in fact, it can help protect them from contracting the germ that caused the food poisoning.” All the sources agree on this, including the CDC. If you’d like to do your own research, just search for: can you breastfeed with food poisoning
randybryant799 21
Oh for heavens sake. What in the world do you think she put in there?
diraven 15
Surprisingly, it's actually healthy to breast feed while you have food poisoning. It boosts the baby's immune system against whatever germ made you sick.