By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 04:01 - Canada - Brampton
The Top
By lostintellct - 11/05/2009 04:46 - United States
Badmouthing
By can'tbreathe - 06/05/2022 06:01
By ineedbetterfriends - 15/06/2013 21:08 - Netherlands - Amersfoort
Realistic
By thesitter - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Controlling
By Anonymous - 01/07/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom
By ms_nothing - 19/08/2011 04:03 - United States
ms_nothing tells us more.
Rude awakening
By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 14:00 - United States - Steele
Let me rest!
By Sodapop - 03/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Richmond
By mysea8679 - 12/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne
Don't blame me
By Face_loser - 24/11/2009 08:11 - United States
By PaperInfection - 23/11/2009 16:19 - United States
By 800z - 16/08/2011 06:44 - United Kingdom
Controlling douchebag #688484
By Natalia - 10/07/2023 03:00
By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh
By poorhamster - 23/10/2010 06:22 - United States
Call the cops
By Matt Steele - 04/02/2021 14:01
By auzziegirl1938 - 16/08/2014 23:53 - Australia - Newcastle
auzziegirl1938 tells us more.
OP here, got an email saying it's been published, so woooo, cheerin on that one haha. The story is that I moved in on campus recently, and my roommates aren't that bad but they're pretty out there. I was a little miffed, I had told them that I was starting a new job in the morning and that I was sick, they started partying just as went to bed and kept it up until about 3-4am, and I had to be up at 5. As for the window being smashed, someone decided it would be fun to push the heater through the window. Apparently it was cold outside. For the people saying things like "if you can't beat them join them" I don't think walking in after 0 hours sleep would confirm that job for me. As for the window puns..! Keep them coming, love it haha keeping me very amused! ???
By ididntevendrinkthatnight - 07/06/2013 05:14 - United States - Brooklyn
Dirty mind
By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown
By random - 06/05/2009 08:57 - United States
Sudarsky's gas giant classification
By leah - 06/02/2021 08:00 - United States - Denver
Off the clock, off the record
By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 16:00
By winstonweigand - 14/08/2014 22:40 - United States - Olympia
winstonweigand tells us more.
Hey y'all it's OP here. This story was actually from a few years back, but someone asked me about the nasty scar on my leg and it reminded me of this event and how pathetic it was. This is how it happened: My family was cleaning out all the cupboards in our kitchen, and when it came to the cans, my dad would open them, empty them and then throw the can in the trash. He tends to not give a shit about Mother Nature. I was tasked with taking the trash out. The can was at the bottom of the bag, facing outwards, and the bag was stretched tight, but it didn't split open so the can wasn't protruding. I was swinging the bag back and forth because I was happy we were done, but when it hit my leg I felt a funny tickling feeling, only to look down and see blood gushing out of a large wound in my leg. Naturally, I was hysterical, because I had no idea how it had happened. The story actually gets funnier from here. In my panic, I ran inside to my family, but since I was bleeding so much, I slipped on my own blood upon entering the kitchen and slammed into a wall head first. I never felt pain throughout the whole thing because of all the adrenaline. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital getting an anesthetic shot DIRECTLY into the gash, followed by a bunch of stitches. Your comments were really funny hahaha, and yeah, we should have recycled, but I was just following my dad's orders! When I'm on my own, I always recycle. I guess Mother Nature punishes those who associate with environment criminals as well :)
By Melinie - 24/06/2012 03:23 - United States
By dinosawerr - 05/05/2009 12:42 - United States
Never the twain shall meet
By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 12:00 - Portugal - Lisbon
Soaking
By Anonymous - 04/06/2013 16:05 - United States
That was quick
By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 23:02 - United States - Herndon
Pissed
By mommy2004 - 18/07/2023 03:00
Keywords
My mom went to college in her 30s. She got pregnant with me her senior year in high school, and waited til she was in her 30s to go to college. I plan on proving her wrong. I've never done anything to make her say something like that.