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By News-print Face Kate - 18/07/2012 16:37 - United Kingdom

Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 1 883

Circular

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 725

You deserved it 2 925

Assumptions

By sama - 06/01/2021 20:03 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was asked why I have stretch marks when I’m skinny. The stretch marks are from when I was recovering anorexic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 115

Never too old for freedom

By Anonymous - 11/06/2023 00:02

Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 841

Out of pocket

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was running late for work and threw on the first pair of pants I could find. Halfway through the day, I realized the pants didn’t have pockets, but it was too late. I had to carry my phone, keys, wallet, and coffee mug in my hands like some sort of deranged juggler every time I moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 424

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 2 845

Shame! Shame! Shame!

By Telinaa - 08/11/2010 02:25 - Australia

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 230

You deserved it 3 076

Yeet the guy

By Lorbibo - 14/01/2021 17:00

Today, I was trying to set up a date with my boyfriend of two years, but he said he didn’t want to, and then to interrupted me to talk to his friends on Discord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 172

By monjecalvo - 07/08/2012 23:59 - Costa Rica - Alajuela

Today, swimming with a friend, we had the bright idea of throwing our swimsuits into the water, letting the current bring them back. Mine never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 794

By Anonymous - 29/08/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 490

You deserved it 4 377

By anonymous - 06/11/2010 21:08 - Canada

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 4 042

By mylifesucks - 02/12/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 505

You deserved it 4 980

Work is hell

By Levi2411 - 06/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had to do the job of 3 to 4 people. Spending the first half in the bakery by myself, I then had to run over to the deli and cook everything for the day while helping lines of customers. Why? Because 8 people are on Covid leave. Instead of shutting down the department, welcome to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 1 244

Fined

By cande - 01/12/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 2 528

Plagued

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 12:00

Today, I just moved into my second apartment after the first one was infested with fruit flies, which were coming out of cracks in the floor. We discovered they had tried to cover this fact up so we'd move in. Guess what this new one has? Bed bugs. I asked if there was a history of bug problems and they said no. Lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 370

You deserved it 22 739

Long road ahead

By coloradoman - 30/11/2009 06:34 - United States

Today, while I was flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a newborn puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice into my lap, then coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 603

You deserved it 3 123

By sweet92 - 15/05/2009 04:32 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 010

You deserved it 54 031

Good girl

By StarvedForAffection - 13/01/2021 23:01 - United States - Midlothian

Spicy

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 278

By L'hommeCultivé - 07/05/2015 06:59 - China - Beijing

Today, I was visiting a magnificent Taoïst Temple in China all while eating an apple. After few galleries, I got to the giant statue in the center of the temple where people were praying. I saw a trash can so I threw my apple away. When I saw everyone giving me the death stare, I figured out that it was the donations box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 509

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 981

You deserved it 4 993

Dee628 tells us more.

Dee628 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 19:41

I had to move back in until I can move into my building for school on the east coast. I've tried cleaning with bathroom cleaner and bleach, but the smell keeps coming back. Neither of them will admit to it and I never pee in the shower, EW. =P Obviously not all men are slobs, I just wish I didn't live with two of them. I lived with one of my guy friend's last year and had the same problem. I was the only one that actually cleaned. ~_~ (I'm the OP, I never thought I'd make it onto FML, so I was surprised to see this! lol)

By Anonymous - 13/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 743

You deserved it 19 967

By unlucky - 03/09/2014 17:40 - United States - Cold Spring

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 788

You deserved it 3 933

By Lorus - 23/08/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 847

You deserved it 5 487

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 865

You deserved it 15 027

Classic sting

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 23:01 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to prank my friend. When he came to pick me up in his car, I pulled up my mask, put on my toque, got in the back seat and yelled "This is a robbery! Don't talk! Drive now!" I'd hopped in the back of the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 1 731

Never the twain

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 00:00

Today, after “talking” and flirting with my team lead for a few months, we started dating and I quit my job, which I really liked, and started working somewhere I didn’t just so we could be together. Now, two weeks after quitting, she breaks up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 1 257

By Lex - 12/05/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 565

You deserved it 3 550

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 12:00 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I fell down the stairs with a cup of coffee. It gave me burns on my arm and I sprained my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 242

Just his type

By idekwtfigo - 23/03/2022 14:00

Today, I stalked my boyfriend's ex again. I have come to the realization that I look just like her. I’m that girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 031

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Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 465

You deserved it 52 831

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 727

You deserved it 4 045

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 766

You deserved it 4 101

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 625

You deserved it 500

Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 1 279

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 381