Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Poor guy. He took a chance, and it blew up in his face.
Chazzster 32
OP, my girlfriend did that once to me. She is now my wife. I understood she didn’t do it on purpose and she was so embarrassed. It’s not a great thing to happen, but unless you make a habit of it it should not be a romance killer.
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Comments (19)
BurnInDemonFire 39
It sounds like the two of you have pretty different sex drives. He must be a great boyfriend overall, if you're willing to wait weeks between sexy times. Has he completely sworn off sex because of your accident, and if so, how do you feel about never getting ****** again?
fjvitt 14
Unless he’s into Cleveland Steamers, I can understand his reticence for sexy-time....
Dave_Davington 34
Poor guy. He took a chance, and it blew up in his face.
RichardPencil 32
Good thing you didn’t sneeze.
Chazzster 32
OP, my girlfriend did that once to me. She is now my wife. I understood she didn’t do it on purpose and she was so embarrassed. It’s not a great thing to happen, but unless you make a habit of it it should not be a romance killer.
MitiMiki 16
That stinks!
tounces7 28
Well what happened in the first place that caused weeks of no sex? Do you just fart a lot during sex or what?
GUYMAINE 16
You are a terrible person
whiskey'swino 15
One of nature's cruel jokes- putting a playground next to a sewer.
Charlie Given 28
well that'll be another long dry fart I mean dry spell 😆