By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States
The Top
Priorities
By sprained neck - 24/11/2015 05:49
By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States
By meach - 06/08/2011 04:58 - United States
Careful
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
Snark
By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:03 - United States
By S. Tucker - 07/06/2011 09:28 - United States
By tickdog - 19/03/2012 03:09 - United States - Rockwall
By thrifty gone wrong - 28/01/2013 17:24 - United States - El Cajon
Dogs are people too
By Seriously? - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
By evenmybodyhatesme - 15/05/2016 06:47 - United States - San Jose
By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles
Sorry, man
By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham
Zit remedy
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
By Username - 28/02/2011 05:44
Rash decision
By caiti - 06/08/2009 01:25 - United States
By torkx3 - 21/07/2009 20:22 - United States
By mimimi - 30/12/2008 06:24 - France
By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 07:35
"She's a very kinky girl…"
By MB101 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 10:35 - Australia - Sydney
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
SexxiKitty tells us more.
By Ihadnoidea - 12/12/2015 19:41 - Canada - Ottawa
I'm tired
By DramaticSigh - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By ziatenaj - 15/10/2010 10:52 - United States
By ZydecosGirl - 10/05/2013 03:11 - United States - Harrisburg
By where do they come from - 01/07/2014 04:26 - United States - Bellingham
The knack
By BrillianceSucks - 05/04/2013 00:10 - Canada
By Dan - 08/10/2009 16:13 - United Kingdom
By Bg2466 - 15/08/2016 03:17 - United States - Pittsburgh
Keywords
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)